What made me laugh today...

Post by **think positive** » Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:55 pm

stui magpie wrote:Just driving home from doing the shopping and got a phone call from the Step son asking how to turn on the pilot light on his wall heater. It's the same as mine (new house, he's been there about a month)

So, I know Gav is not mechanically inclined at all. He can pull apart a PC and replace cards and stuff but ask him to hang a picture on a wall and he's lost. So I started with the basics.

First, I said, check near the sides of the heater, there should be an electrical cable coming out that goes to a switch. That needs to be turned on because that's what powers the fan and provides the spark to light the pilot light. Without that, heater she no work.

Silence, some scuffling, then "Oh, is that what that does? I turned that off last week cos I didn't know what it was for".

O

M

G

That is some scary shit

Post by **think positive** » Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:39 am

this reminded me of Nicks!!

Post by **stui magpie** » Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:21 am

think positive wrote:

this reminded me of Nicks!!

Hah, that pic is a ripper.

Post by **think positive** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 5:33 pm

last year I was spring cleaning the gym, and smacked myself in the eye with the leg extension attachment from my weight bench (it was on the top shelf of a cupboard, dumb I know) I had a lovely shiner, and it bled like all ****! I moved it to the bottom of the cupboard cos I only use it occasionally.

so today I was spring cleaning the gym again, and rearranging things & I thought id move it to a safer place.

this time I only smacked my nose. I heard a crack. mopped up the blood. nothing a panadol with some American honey wont fix. but I hope the bruise goes before the wedding im attending in a couple of weeks!!

being clumsy is a bugger.

Post by **stui magpie** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 5:46 pm

Bloody hell. Clumsy sod.

3.14159 · Post by **3.14159** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 5:52 pm

You'll use any excuse to crack open a bottle of American Honey.

(the worst of the bruising will have gone in a week.
What hasn't gone you can hide it under a foundation.)

(2. There are creams* you can put on a bruise that will make it disappear in a just a few days but that have to be applied with in an hour of the injury.
*Tiger Balm, Denco-rub, and all Hemoroid creams just to name a few.)

Post by **stui magpie** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 6:22 pm

3.14159 wrote:You'll use any excuse to crack open a bottle of American Honey.

(the worst of the bruising will have gone in a week.
What hasn't gone you can hide it under a foundation.)

(2. There are creams* you can put on a bruise that will make it disappear in a just a few days but that have to be applied with in an hour of the injury.
*Tiger Balm, Denco-rub, and all Hemoroid creams just to name a few.)

Seriously? put heat on a bruise? I thought the drill was to ice it ASAP, bring the bruising out quicker so it went quicker.

Post by **think positive** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:45 pm

Hahaha!

I forgot the hemoroid cream trick! Bugger bit late now!

When I got to netball, course. I got asked the question,

I told em all it was a feral Carlscum fan!

Stui, I am so clumsy it's scary!! Always have been, I literally can't walk in a straight line. Which is funny as I was an Aussie champ marching girl!

Funny I use it maybe a couple of times a month, and I never hurt myself taking it in and out. Yet when I move the park place for it, I do this twice! The bit that hinges, doesn't look like the bit that should hinge, and I pick it up the wrong way. It weights maybe 10-15 kg, made of box section. I used a tube thing to tie it up, so it can't unfold, and wrapped a fluro work vest around it! If I go third time lucky, I'll stick the thing in a dumpster!

Next week or the week after, I want to take everything out the home theatre, paint three walls (it's raincoat time!) and rip up the carpet, imagine how much damage I can do with that!

Cheers guys!

swoop42 · Post by **swoop42** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:02 pm

So drunk is the new clumsy?

Post by **think positive** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:04 pm

swoop42 wrote:So drunk is the new clumsy?

I'm even worse drunk!

3.14159 · Post by **3.14159** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:55 pm

stui magpie wrote: Seriously? put heat on a bruise? I thought the drill was to ice it ASAP, bring the bruising out quicker so it went quicker.

Seriously.
The menthol (or eucalyptus) gets in under the skin and breaks up the bruise.
It'll turn it a pale yellow colour in a few minutes and even that disappears in about 2-3 days.

note, do not put on an open wound.

.... or your balls .

watt price tully · Post by **watt price tully** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 11:00 am

Nail hit head.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-10-24/c ... se/5042800

They make me laugh every time. If the deceit of this federal government with its weasel word use of language wasn't such a tragedy.

Who is Eric Blair? What a beauty.

Post by **David** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 12:37 pm

HAL · Post by **HAL** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 12:39 pm

Are we still talking about D[quote]
They cost about $60?

watt price tully · Post by **watt price tully** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 12:45 pm

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What made me laugh today...