Half-Way News Review!

[Scottie Davo]

Oi! This is all too serious.

I have just read theses posts for 30 minutes and there is a common theme-trashing people and Joffa's appetite.

So here we go-the half year news review!


In what can only be described as my first sexual moment-the 'Pies nearly made it in ROUND ONE until the time keeper tripped over his urine bag and sounded the siren two minutes early. The umpires were about as popular as a taxi driver's deodorant on that day and the 'Pies were left to rue some wasted chances and some decisions from the umpires which caused indigestion in the strangest places of most pie fans.

The bulletin board was hot with anger and interrogation as to just how many more games will be tarnished with the smear of umpiring impotency. There was a casualty who was dropped from the side, but we won't delve into that...The result appeared to be a let's wait and see scenario until the next week.

ROUND 2 saw a well performing Fremantle Wacker side push the 'pies for some time before Buckley and company steadied like my ex-girlfriend getting out of my bed after (about three minutes) and move on to bigger and better things (it's okay-I helped her to her crutches straight away). The jury was still out on Collingwood, the Bulletin Board seemed relieved somewhat that we grabbed the first win of the season, we were in the eight, and Tarrant, Fraser, Buckley and O'Bree were leading the way.

Then it began, ROUND THREE saw the potential realised, and what can only be described as a Collingwood Blitzkrieg, the 'Pies annihilated the newted dogs by 12 goals. That nameless man that was dropped charged back into form, Buckley ran like Joffa to the KFC during half time all day and the tackling was stupendous. We even kicked straight. The pressure that was applied was higher than the pressure I placed on that 14 year old to...oh...never mind there. The 'Pies were on their way.

But then ROUND FOUR saw a real concern, we were playing a team that had a liking of dung and for the most part we played like it. The end of the game felt like you had just lost to your one-armed brother in a rope climbing contest. The'Pies gave too much start and were only just staved off at the death. The kicking for goal was a concern again, but at 2-2 for the year-we had seen worse.

The bulletin board was not doom and gloom, Joffa was keeping a keen eye on any wayward entries that required the reining in of the mighty man, but there were some people that were seething at a performance that was the Jekyll to the Mr Hyde of a match the week before.

ANZAC DAY was a whopper. This ROUND FIVE clash was everything and yet nothing at the end of it all. Costly mistakes stole the limelight from which was otherwise a sterling display of running footbal by the 'pies. No one took a backward step, but two or three errors against these blokes and you will pay. And the 'Pies did. But we were coming...so someone said, and the Bulletin Board was awash with vast and applauding overtones for a team that consistently led, and pushed, the reigning premiers all day.

Never has a defeat held so much promise.

ROUND SIX was pay day. Against a team that resembles the crust of my grandmother's diaphragm, the 'Pies grew up on this day. They showed the way, and then held off the enemy in a fashion that drew praise, and lifted the eyebrows, of all in the AFL. Again Buckley shone, but Tarrant, Fraser, Holland, Davis and Rocca were becoming concerns for the other clubs. And didn't the Bulletin Board know it.

ROUND SEVEN saw heartache though as an old friend turned into our worst enemy. Earlier in the year I remember a debate about whether that man should be booed or praised when he was seen on this day.

We answered our own questions.

The man was out to get us. he did, but never again will there be hesitation on our resolve to humiliate the man on our next visit. This was a game that could have propelled the 'Pies to a solid top four spot. But alas, after leading by fifteen points late-we let slip and dribbled all over ourselves in the backline. Game over-let's move on, we had concerns in the Bulletin board because of our next opponent and the loaction...Port at Port.

The moment of the year so far. ROUND EIGHT. This was Maggienificent. Of all the scenes to promote this Club, the strength of the after match effort in the goalsquare was, and still is, indescibable. We repaid Port and our Adelaide brothers and sisters with what they deserved, a win that confirmed the team's staus as not coming-BUT ARRIVED! Enough said on this one. Praise to them all.

Dr Jekyl appeared to be back the next week when at half time in the ROUND 9 clash against the St Kilda hippies, the 'pies were all but gone-36 points and inaccuracy and waywardness worse than my ex-girlfriend...(I still want her back though).

But this time the fightback was sustained, and we physiclayy requested the Saints please hand back the four points on offer than calmy booted their arse off Colonial Stadium. O'Bree had a blinder, and Molloy also stood and and was counted...what number he was is still a mystery to me, but he was counted as something.

Now the 'Pies were nudging the top four, the Bulletin Board was feverishly salivating at the match against the Hunter Valley Swans...and this ROUND 10 match caused a distress level in the Bulletin board like no other this year. the promise was there, yet the Swans were plucking more than the umpires' decision out of the air. A completely unfulfilling and laboursome experience...by the way hi mum. The Bulletin Board was heated to say the least, Joffa and Mike were putting out fires all over the place. Millane 42 was a little emotional, the rohypnol appeared to have worn off early...but we all agreed at the end of this 15 point disappointment that we must look to Melbourne and give the Demons Salvation.

And did we. ROUND ELEVEN confirmed to the world that the 'Pies of 2001 are not going away, and to get the Panadol ready as they are out to cause headaches. Unlike a cabbie in Broadmeadows, this team know where they are going. A 77 point thumping with about seven BOGs to speak of. Someone also took a couple of good grabs too...and not just Joffa in the Ladies stand.

So we are at the halfway mark, we have nbeen mildly inconsistent, but never beaten by more than three goals, and have smashed a couple of teams who made the finals last year.

I can see the sun rising-and this ain't Pearl Harbour-it's bigger than that.

For the second half of the year TORA!TORA!TORA!

Go Pies.

In my blood...and off my head.

[biodave]

loved your insight, scottie davo
Let it be known, "we are going to you essenscum."

love the pies and...

bless their courageous hearts

[magpie jeff]

Scottie davo

That was a terific read well done mate.

People at the cricketers on monday night after our epic win (and that mark)we were all discussing our great win as gentleman do with the exception of course JLC he was pissed as a parrot and was basically legless...LOL any way back to the crutch of the story scottie davo waltzes out into the beer garden with a tray of about 10 pots....well lips were thrashing chops all over the joint....LOL
Thanks scottie davo
Your a great guy.

AND I TO CAN FEEL A MID SEASON REPORT COMING ON.....

WE MARCH WITH PRIDE,WE MARCH WITH LOVE,WHEN IT COMES TO OUR COLLINGWOOD WE FOREVER MARCH ! we will never forget our great number #42...GO YOU BLOODY PIES yeaaah LETS KICK ASS.lets kill the bloody bastards !!
http://www.mp3.com/joffa

[magpie jeff]

And the last time i saw u scottie you looked very very very very happy....LOL

magpie 24 was there
timagpie
JLC
I cant remember who else ....LOL

WE MARCH WITH PRIDE,WE MARCH WITH LOVE,WHEN IT COMES TO OUR COLLINGWOOD WE FOREVER MARCH ! we will never forget our great number #42...GO YOU BLOODY PIES yeaaah LETS KICK ASS.lets kill the bloody bastards !!
http://www.mp3.com/joffa

[pants42]

scottie davo enjoyed that immensly chuckled right through bloody good insights cheers go pies!!

[Joel]

Great insight! Very well done.

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[Dazza42]

Good stuff scottie, quite a good read.

GO PIES

[Danzy Rocks!!!]

Thats really good, well done Scottie

I LOVE DANNY ROACH 4 EVA AND EVA

[AlfAndrews]

That was a superb piece of work, Scotty. A gem, in fact.

But could you please make one correction. I hate to be a bloody pedant, but we booted St.Kilda's arses off the M.C.G., not Colonial Stadium.

**floreat pica**