What made me laugh today...

Nick's current affairs & general discussion about anything that's not sport.
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KenH
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Post by KenH »

Morrigu wrote:Tikki Wendon going to gaol - :lol: :lol:

Can only hope the inspiration for her character suffers the same fate :wink:

Best show ever - just love it!!!

Oh for the love of god!
F@$k me sideways!
Cheers big ears
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Morrigu
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Post by Morrigu »

KenH wrote:
Morrigu wrote:Tikki Wendon going to gaol - :lol: :lol:

Can only hope the inspiration for her character suffers the same fate :wink:

Best show ever - just love it!!!

Oh for the love of god!
F@$k me sideways!
Barnyard in a balloon - Christ on a bike! :D


I actually had tears I was laughing so much :P
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”
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HAL
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Post by HAL »

"it" being [quoteDavid]Managed to come across this at the Rathdowne StElgin St traffic lights?
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KenH
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Post by KenH »

Morrigu wrote:
KenH wrote:
Morrigu wrote:Tikki Wendon going to gaol - :lol: :lol:

Can only hope the inspiration for her character suffers the same fate :wink:

Best show ever - just love it!!!

Oh for the love of god!
F@$k me sideways!
Barnyard in a balloon - Christ on a bike! :D


I actually had tears I was laughing so much :P

Apparently they aren't doing any more shows.
But soon all the shows will be released on DVD, think I can see a good present coming my way!!
Cheers big ears
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stui magpie
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Post by stui magpie »

I'm assuming this is some kind of code?
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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stui magpie
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Post by stui magpie »

Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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think positive
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Post by think positive »

You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
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stui magpie
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Post by stui magpie »

Image
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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think positive
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Post by think positive »

id BITE that sucker
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
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Morrigu
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Post by Morrigu »

LOVE THIS DOCTOR (especially for Jo :P )


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"



AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.



CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. :lol:
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”
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stui magpie
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Post by stui magpie »

Morrigu wrote:LOVE THIS DOCTOR (especially for Jo :P )


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"



AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.



CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. :lol:
Sold. I'm printing that and giving it to MY doctor. :wink: :lol: :lol:

Then i'm learning to speak a foreign language. :wink: :oops:
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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Tannin
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Post by Tannin »

This reminded me of talking to David and Stui but especially David about sterilising people in poor black countries.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55 ... e=youtu.be

PS: Morrigu, you are my hero.
�Let's eat Grandma.� Commas save lives!
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David
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Post by David »

Fantastic, Tannin. Straight to the Facebook wall. :D
"Every time we witness an injustice and do not act, we train our character to be passive in its presence." – Julian Assange
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think positive
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Post by think positive »

Morrigu wrote:LOVE THIS DOCTOR (especially for Jo :P )


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"



AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.



CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. :lol:
Haha

There's is certainly a few there I can follow! :wink:
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
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