FuNnY.........
Moderator: bbmods
- Elvira
- Posts: 282
- Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2001 8:01 pm
- Location: Melbourne, VIC
FuNnY.........
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in Perth and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is an Eagles fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Eagles fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raiseyour hand?"
"Because I'm not an Eagles fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not an Eagles fan,then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Collingwood fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pls tell, why are you a Collingwood fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Collingwood, and my mum is a Collingwood fan and my dad is a Collingwood fan, so I'm a Collingwood fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no
reason for you to be a Collingwood fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time.
What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a RICHMOND fan."
How True!!!!!!!!!
lol.lol.........
TYPICAL RICHMOND BOGANS!!!!!!!!
ELVIRA....
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Eagles fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raiseyour hand?"
"Because I'm not an Eagles fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not an Eagles fan,then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Collingwood fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pls tell, why are you a Collingwood fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Collingwood, and my mum is a Collingwood fan and my dad is a Collingwood fan, so I'm a Collingwood fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no
reason for you to be a Collingwood fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time.
What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a RICHMOND fan."
How True!!!!!!!!!
lol.lol.........
TYPICAL RICHMOND BOGANS!!!!!!!!
ELVIRA....
- SIB4897
- Posts: 233
- Joined: Fri Jan 15, 1999 8:01 pm
- Location: Ashton-under-Lyne, near Manchester, England
- Contact:
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- Posts: 840
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2001 6:01 pm
You're trapped in a room with a lion, a rattlesnake, and a Richmond supporter. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Richmond supporter. Twice.
Q: Why do women like Richmond?
A: They stay on top for ages, but always come second
Four surgeons are having a coffee break.
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer the Richmond midfield. They're gutless, spineless, heartless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."
A new yellow and black Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It'll be called "laughing stock".
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Richmond are good enough to win the Premiership." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Did you hear that the police were called to the last Richmond game at the MCG? They caught two Richmond supporters red handed climbing out of the ground during the second half, but they insisted they go back and watch the rest of the match!
Jimmy: "Mummy, I want to be a Richmond season ticket holder when I grow up."
Mother: "But Jimmy, you can't do both!"
A ventriloquist is working in a Richmond pub, and during his show a Tiger supporter stands up and yells,
"HEY YOU! ON STAGE! You've been making remarks about us locals being stupid all night long! We're not all stupid, ya know!" "Relax," says the ventriloquist. "They're just jokes!"
"I'm not talking to you, sir," the supporter replies. "I'm talking to that ugly little guy sitting on your knee.
Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and Richmond?
A: OJ Simpson had some sort of a defence!
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps they had pictures of Richmond Players on them ...
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: How many Richmond fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite used to living in the shadows
How many Richmond fans does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all fled at the first sign that the light bulb was failing.
Q: What's the difference between a Pyromaniac and the Richmond football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn't throw away all his matches!
Q: What do Richmond and a bowl of fruit have in common?
A: You always find them in the middle of the table.
Q: What's the difference between Richmond and an albatross?
A: An albatross has got two decent wings
Q: What's the difference between Richmond's squad and a puddle? A: A puddle has more depth
Q: What's black and yellow and funny?
A: A busload of Richmond fans going over a cliff!
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
Shoot the Richmond supporter. Twice.
Q: Why do women like Richmond?
A: They stay on top for ages, but always come second
Four surgeons are having a coffee break.
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer the Richmond midfield. They're gutless, spineless, heartless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."
A new yellow and black Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It'll be called "laughing stock".
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Richmond are good enough to win the Premiership." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Did you hear that the police were called to the last Richmond game at the MCG? They caught two Richmond supporters red handed climbing out of the ground during the second half, but they insisted they go back and watch the rest of the match!
Jimmy: "Mummy, I want to be a Richmond season ticket holder when I grow up."
Mother: "But Jimmy, you can't do both!"
A ventriloquist is working in a Richmond pub, and during his show a Tiger supporter stands up and yells,
"HEY YOU! ON STAGE! You've been making remarks about us locals being stupid all night long! We're not all stupid, ya know!" "Relax," says the ventriloquist. "They're just jokes!"
"I'm not talking to you, sir," the supporter replies. "I'm talking to that ugly little guy sitting on your knee.
Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and Richmond?
A: OJ Simpson had some sort of a defence!
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps they had pictures of Richmond Players on them ...
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: How many Richmond fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite used to living in the shadows
How many Richmond fans does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all fled at the first sign that the light bulb was failing.
Q: What's the difference between a Pyromaniac and the Richmond football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn't throw away all his matches!
Q: What do Richmond and a bowl of fruit have in common?
A: You always find them in the middle of the table.
Q: What's the difference between Richmond and an albatross?
A: An albatross has got two decent wings
Q: What's the difference between Richmond's squad and a puddle? A: A puddle has more depth
Q: What's black and yellow and funny?
A: A busload of Richmond fans going over a cliff!
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
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- Joined: Sat May 12, 2001 6:01 pm
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- Posts: 811
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2001 6:01 pm
-
- Posts: 840
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2001 6:01 pm
Richmond Tigers Club Song
Oh, we're from Tigerland
A coach's graveyard, we're from Tigerland
And in fair weather then our coach will wear a grin
But when we need a win
We're right behind him cos we find
The knives go further in
For we're from Tigerland,
We never sack 'em 'til our finals hopes are gone
Since the Tigers of old
It's twenty years in the cold
For we're from Tiger (coach, watch your back)
We're from Tigerland
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
Oh, we're from Tigerland
A coach's graveyard, we're from Tigerland
And in fair weather then our coach will wear a grin
But when we need a win
We're right behind him cos we find
The knives go further in
For we're from Tigerland,
We never sack 'em 'til our finals hopes are gone
Since the Tigers of old
It's twenty years in the cold
For we're from Tiger (coach, watch your back)
We're from Tigerland
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
-
- Posts: 840
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2001 6:01 pm
in fact, I hate all other clubs, so here are the rest of the theme songs (unfortunately I can't take credit for them):
Sydney Swans Club Song
Cheer, cheer the red and the white
Moved up to Sydney when money was tight
Warwick Capper sure flew high
And Lockett's fat arse blocked out the sky
But whether the shorts be big or be small
Swans need a star or attendances fall
Now the AFL is hoping
And praying for Kelly's knee
Adelaide Crows Club Song
We're the pride of South Australia
The mighty Adelaide Crows
Well, our first six years were failures
And then we jagged two in a row
Full of self-congratulation
The bandwagon ever grows
We're the pride of South Australia
We're the mighty Adelaide Crows
We've got one-hundred thousand members
And a twelve-year waiting list
They sip their wooded chardonnay
Then drive their 4-wheel-drives home pissed
And the umpires are against us
As the free-kick tally shows
Cos they hate us South Australians
And there's a plot against the Crows
Carlton Blues Club Song
We are the Navy Blues
We will do exactly as we choose
We're the team who makes up our own rules
Because the AFL is run by fools
Their regulations
Cause us frustrations
But litigation
Will make them hear what we are saying
Cos we're the shameless old dark Blues
Kangaroos Club Song
Hearts to hearts and hands to hands
We play in front of empty stands
And every week we lose ten-grand
In Sydney and in Melbourne
Out we come, out we come, out we come to play
It doesn't matter where we are, the fans still stay away
Let's try Melbourne, let's try Sydney - let's have a bet each way
One thing's for sure, we're easy-beats when Carey doesn't play
So join in the chorus and tell the world the news
We're not called North Melbourne, we're just the Kangaroos
Poor old North Melbourne, they're gonners you'll agree
North Melbourne is the team that plays some games in Syd-a-ney
Brisbane Lions Club Song
We are the pride of Brisbane Town
We merged with Fitzroy for the cash
For we once were backed by a millionaire
But he lost it all in the crash
He left behind a whopping bill
Now he claims he's feeling ill
Dirty schemer, with emphysema
Here's hoping that your health
Is as fragile as your wealth
Essendon Bombers Club Song
See the Bombers screw up, up!
The preliminary final again
As we've seen in recent years
Our finals efforts always end up in tears
See the Bombers screw up, up!
The other teams we don't fear
They all try their best
But they can't get near
Until the Bombers screw up!
Fremantle Dockers Club Song
Freo, watch us go
Sideways, backwards
Against the flow
No wonder we can't win three in a row
We are the Freo Dockers
VERSE 1
We're amazing then we're shockin'
Our consistency is rotten
We get draft picks but we swap 'em
So we're always near the bottom
And though we get up at 4 a.m.
We can't stop our huffing, puffing
VERSE 2
Doc-Doc-Dockers
Show 'em that we're hot
Freo heave ho
Doc-Doc-Dockers
Show 'em that we're not
Oh Dockers, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh
Top
Geelong Club Song
We are Geelong - the poorest team of all
We are Geelong - we're going to the wall
All those years ago when Pyramid collapsed
At least you still had the Cats
But we'll be wound up soon if you don't you come
Down to Shell Sta-di-um
So stand up and fight, remember our position
Stand up and fight, break-even is our mission
Buddha changed his name by deed-poll for some cash
But now we've done our dash
And when the cheques all bounce, we'll asset strip
And try receivership
Port Adelaide Power Club Song
Oh, when the Power got in
We thought we would rule
Come on, let's teach those Crows a lesson
Cos we're the Power from Port
But it counted for nought
That we had thirty flags in our possession
And so we stabbed old Jack
In the back, back, back
And said that history here counts for nothing
Sure, it did get us in
But unless we can win
We should stop the huffing and puffing
And now the Category Ones no longer come
It's just the Alberton mob, well, those with jobs
And the heroes are those who on rainy nights
Brave the cold metal seats with their bums clenched tight
And the Port supporters' numbers fall
Early leavers, one and all
Repeat first verse, then: PORT POWER!!!
St. Kilda Saints Club Song
Oh when the Saints, go caving in
To hand the Pies a three goal win
No wonder smack sells well in St Kilda
It stops the pain from kicking in.
When will the Saints be sacking Blight
When will they realise their plight
But who on earth would want to take over
A crappy team that's full of shite
Western Bulldogs Club Song
Sons of bitches
Red white and blue
You'll need twenty stitches
When we're through with you
Bulldogs scratch and bulldogs kick
We do our very worst
And if you play the boys of the old inbreeds
You'll go home in a big, black hearse
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
Sydney Swans Club Song
Cheer, cheer the red and the white
Moved up to Sydney when money was tight
Warwick Capper sure flew high
And Lockett's fat arse blocked out the sky
But whether the shorts be big or be small
Swans need a star or attendances fall
Now the AFL is hoping
And praying for Kelly's knee
Adelaide Crows Club Song
We're the pride of South Australia
The mighty Adelaide Crows
Well, our first six years were failures
And then we jagged two in a row
Full of self-congratulation
The bandwagon ever grows
We're the pride of South Australia
We're the mighty Adelaide Crows
We've got one-hundred thousand members
And a twelve-year waiting list
They sip their wooded chardonnay
Then drive their 4-wheel-drives home pissed
And the umpires are against us
As the free-kick tally shows
Cos they hate us South Australians
And there's a plot against the Crows
Carlton Blues Club Song
We are the Navy Blues
We will do exactly as we choose
We're the team who makes up our own rules
Because the AFL is run by fools
Their regulations
Cause us frustrations
But litigation
Will make them hear what we are saying
Cos we're the shameless old dark Blues
Kangaroos Club Song
Hearts to hearts and hands to hands
We play in front of empty stands
And every week we lose ten-grand
In Sydney and in Melbourne
Out we come, out we come, out we come to play
It doesn't matter where we are, the fans still stay away
Let's try Melbourne, let's try Sydney - let's have a bet each way
One thing's for sure, we're easy-beats when Carey doesn't play
So join in the chorus and tell the world the news
We're not called North Melbourne, we're just the Kangaroos
Poor old North Melbourne, they're gonners you'll agree
North Melbourne is the team that plays some games in Syd-a-ney
Brisbane Lions Club Song
We are the pride of Brisbane Town
We merged with Fitzroy for the cash
For we once were backed by a millionaire
But he lost it all in the crash
He left behind a whopping bill
Now he claims he's feeling ill
Dirty schemer, with emphysema
Here's hoping that your health
Is as fragile as your wealth
Essendon Bombers Club Song
See the Bombers screw up, up!
The preliminary final again
As we've seen in recent years
Our finals efforts always end up in tears
See the Bombers screw up, up!
The other teams we don't fear
They all try their best
But they can't get near
Until the Bombers screw up!
Fremantle Dockers Club Song
Freo, watch us go
Sideways, backwards
Against the flow
No wonder we can't win three in a row
We are the Freo Dockers
VERSE 1
We're amazing then we're shockin'
Our consistency is rotten
We get draft picks but we swap 'em
So we're always near the bottom
And though we get up at 4 a.m.
We can't stop our huffing, puffing
VERSE 2
Doc-Doc-Dockers
Show 'em that we're hot
Freo heave ho
Doc-Doc-Dockers
Show 'em that we're not
Oh Dockers, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh
Top
Geelong Club Song
We are Geelong - the poorest team of all
We are Geelong - we're going to the wall
All those years ago when Pyramid collapsed
At least you still had the Cats
But we'll be wound up soon if you don't you come
Down to Shell Sta-di-um
So stand up and fight, remember our position
Stand up and fight, break-even is our mission
Buddha changed his name by deed-poll for some cash
But now we've done our dash
And when the cheques all bounce, we'll asset strip
And try receivership
Port Adelaide Power Club Song
Oh, when the Power got in
We thought we would rule
Come on, let's teach those Crows a lesson
Cos we're the Power from Port
But it counted for nought
That we had thirty flags in our possession
And so we stabbed old Jack
In the back, back, back
And said that history here counts for nothing
Sure, it did get us in
But unless we can win
We should stop the huffing and puffing
And now the Category Ones no longer come
It's just the Alberton mob, well, those with jobs
And the heroes are those who on rainy nights
Brave the cold metal seats with their bums clenched tight
And the Port supporters' numbers fall
Early leavers, one and all
Repeat first verse, then: PORT POWER!!!
St. Kilda Saints Club Song
Oh when the Saints, go caving in
To hand the Pies a three goal win
No wonder smack sells well in St Kilda
It stops the pain from kicking in.
When will the Saints be sacking Blight
When will they realise their plight
But who on earth would want to take over
A crappy team that's full of shite
Western Bulldogs Club Song
Sons of bitches
Red white and blue
You'll need twenty stitches
When we're through with you
Bulldogs scratch and bulldogs kick
We do our very worst
And if you play the boys of the old inbreeds
You'll go home in a big, black hearse
"everyone's a winner hot pies"