And this was originally penned (under the heavy influence of Wild Turkey and coke) just after Justin Charles was suspended for 13 weeks for drug offences.
Oh, we're from druggo land
Slumped in a doorway
We're from druggo land,
In a darkened alley, you will see we're very thin,
With needles in our skin
We take drugs of any kind
It's the only way we'll win
Oh, we're from druggo land
We won't even hear the ambo's siren sound
Like the junkies of old
We're pale and we're cold
Ooooh we're from druggo
COCAINE AND SMACK!
We're from druggo land
Cheers
FuNnY.........
Moderator: bbmods
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junkboy75
- Posts: 840
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2001 6:01 pm
Hear about the Richmond supporter that got an AM radio?
It took him a month to realise he could play it at night.
Danny Frawley went to the Richmond Xmas party dressed as a pumpkin.
Come midnight he still hadn't turned into a coach.
Man walks into a shop in Richmond:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees, asking, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241."
"That is wonderful," says Albert, "We will talk about the Grand Unification theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss."
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" To which the lady answers "144."
"That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss."
Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" and the man answers, "42."
Albert responds, "So how did Richmond get on this season, huh?"
A Richmond fan works on a building site. He gets called in the office for a phone call and comes out in tears & inconsolable.
"What's up?" his foreman says.
"That call was bad news" the Tiger fan replies. "My dad's died".
Sorry mate, do you want the rest of the day off?" the foreman offered.
Just then, he gets another call from the office. This time he comes out even worse. Kneeling on the floor hitting his head. Totally gone.
His foreman approaches. "What now?" he asks.
"I've just had another call" says the Tiger fan. "That one was from my brother - and HIS dad's died as well!"
Two Richmond fans were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first Richmond fan said, "these look like deer tracks."
The other one said, "No, they look more like moose tracks."
They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two Tiger supporters walk into a dry cleaners on a rainy day and ask the clerk for a hanger. "I locked my keys in the car, and I need the hanger to unlock the door," the first fan explains.
"Please hurry," whines the second fan. "We left the top down and everything is getting ruined!"
A bear from Collingwood and a rabbit from Richmond are side by side taking a dump.
The bear asks the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
"No, not at all" replied the rabbit.
When he finished his dump the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his arse with it
Apparently Danny Frawley went on a scouting mission to the deepest African jungle. When he was there he spotted this huge local guy standing in a clearing. Suddenly a coconut dropped from a tree, which the guy kicked with incredible power and precision through a tiny hole in the foliage.
"Bloody Hell!" said Spud; "can you do that again?"
So the big guy does exactly the same thing, only this time he juggles the coconut from foot to foot before blasting it through the hole in the foliage.
Needless to say, Spud signs up the guy from the jungle and proudly shows him off at the first training session of the season.
"Before we go any further" says Frawley - "Ball" (pointing at the ball), "Goal" (pointing at the goal.) "Ball" (pointing at the ball), "Goal" (pointing at the goal).
"But boss" protests the guy from the jungle "I can speak perfect English"
"Shut up" replies Frawley "I was talking to the rest of the team"
Two Richmond fans are walking along. One of them picks up a mirror, looks in it, and says
"Hey, I know that bloke"
The second one picks it up and says
"Of course you do, you thick twat - its me!"
A Richmond fan and a Collingwood fan get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars (with football stickers on windows) are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Richmond fan says,
"So you're a Collingwood fan, that's interesting. I'm a Richmond fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The Collingwood fan replied," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"
The Collingwood fan continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."
Then he hands the bottle to the Richmond fan. The Richmond fan nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the Collingwood fan. The Collingwood fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Richmond fan.
The Richmond fan asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The Collingwood fan replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
It took him a month to realise he could play it at night.
Danny Frawley went to the Richmond Xmas party dressed as a pumpkin.
Come midnight he still hadn't turned into a coach.
Man walks into a shop in Richmond:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees, asking, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241."
"That is wonderful," says Albert, "We will talk about the Grand Unification theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss."
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" To which the lady answers "144."
"That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss."
Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" and the man answers, "42."
Albert responds, "So how did Richmond get on this season, huh?"
A Richmond fan works on a building site. He gets called in the office for a phone call and comes out in tears & inconsolable.
"What's up?" his foreman says.
"That call was bad news" the Tiger fan replies. "My dad's died".
Sorry mate, do you want the rest of the day off?" the foreman offered.
Just then, he gets another call from the office. This time he comes out even worse. Kneeling on the floor hitting his head. Totally gone.
His foreman approaches. "What now?" he asks.
"I've just had another call" says the Tiger fan. "That one was from my brother - and HIS dad's died as well!"
Two Richmond fans were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first Richmond fan said, "these look like deer tracks."
The other one said, "No, they look more like moose tracks."
They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two Tiger supporters walk into a dry cleaners on a rainy day and ask the clerk for a hanger. "I locked my keys in the car, and I need the hanger to unlock the door," the first fan explains.
"Please hurry," whines the second fan. "We left the top down and everything is getting ruined!"
A bear from Collingwood and a rabbit from Richmond are side by side taking a dump.
The bear asks the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
"No, not at all" replied the rabbit.
When he finished his dump the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his arse with it
Apparently Danny Frawley went on a scouting mission to the deepest African jungle. When he was there he spotted this huge local guy standing in a clearing. Suddenly a coconut dropped from a tree, which the guy kicked with incredible power and precision through a tiny hole in the foliage.
"Bloody Hell!" said Spud; "can you do that again?"
So the big guy does exactly the same thing, only this time he juggles the coconut from foot to foot before blasting it through the hole in the foliage.
Needless to say, Spud signs up the guy from the jungle and proudly shows him off at the first training session of the season.
"Before we go any further" says Frawley - "Ball" (pointing at the ball), "Goal" (pointing at the goal.) "Ball" (pointing at the ball), "Goal" (pointing at the goal).
"But boss" protests the guy from the jungle "I can speak perfect English"
"Shut up" replies Frawley "I was talking to the rest of the team"
Two Richmond fans are walking along. One of them picks up a mirror, looks in it, and says
"Hey, I know that bloke"
The second one picks it up and says
"Of course you do, you thick twat - its me!"
A Richmond fan and a Collingwood fan get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars (with football stickers on windows) are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Richmond fan says,
"So you're a Collingwood fan, that's interesting. I'm a Richmond fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The Collingwood fan replied," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"
The Collingwood fan continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."
Then he hands the bottle to the Richmond fan. The Richmond fan nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the Collingwood fan. The Collingwood fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Richmond fan.
The Richmond fan asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The Collingwood fan replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
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PIE_CHICK_4EVER
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Sun May 27, 2001 6:01 pm
- Location: Melbourne,Victoria,Australia
-
Danzy Rocks!!!
- Posts: 811
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2001 6:01 pm
-
junkboy75
- Posts: 840
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2001 6:01 pm
A man is walking down the street in Carlton when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to her chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save her baby.
The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it!"
"No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and she'll be killed!"
"No I won't!" shouts the man. "I am Stephen Silvagni. I'm the full-back of the century for the Carlton Blues. I've hardly missed a match in ten years and in all that time I have never let the football fall out of my grasp." "What? Not once?" calls the woman. "No!" shouts back the man. "Not once. Every football player in Australia agrees that I am the best full-back there has ever been". And with that he adopts the classic close checking full-back stance - legs apart ready to spring off, body in a protective position to cut off a lead and with his arms stretched out ready to punch the ball from an opponent or take a strong pack mark.
"OK!" screams the woman. "I'll trust you. I've no choice! Here she comes!" So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby's shawl catches on the woman's watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with her little arms and legs flailing. The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man. The man remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only inches from hitting the ground the man dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in his outstretched right hand, pulls her in towards his chest and shields her body with his left hand and arm.
He hits the ground heavily on his right side and lies motionless on the pavement for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he raises himself to his feet and turns to face the crowd and everyone sees that the child is alive. The crowd is awe-struck. Then the crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. The man, still clutching the child to his chest in his right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation. Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground, and kicks her 50 metres down the road.
A lifelong Melbourne supporter died early January and his wife rang the club to ask whether, if he was cremated, his ashes could be scattered on the hallowed turf of the MCG. A spokesman for the club very kindly explained that they had many such requests and it really was not possible to fulfil all of them. But, as he had been a supporter for many years, the spokesman had a suggestion. His idea was that the club would arrange for him to be stuffed and, as his season ticket was still valid, he could be placed in his seat complete with scarf, beanie etc. and he could then be there for the rest of the season. The wife thought this was a very good idea so the club made all the arrangements and propped him up in his seat wearing his Demons scarf etc. At half time at the Collingwood game he got up and walked out!
How many Geelong. fans does it take to change a light bulb?
520,001. That's one to change it, 20,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the team of the century replica jumper! In fact, it could be argued 540,002, as someone will have to compare the light bulb to Gary Ablett.
"The Chad is great"
The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it!"
"No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and she'll be killed!"
"No I won't!" shouts the man. "I am Stephen Silvagni. I'm the full-back of the century for the Carlton Blues. I've hardly missed a match in ten years and in all that time I have never let the football fall out of my grasp." "What? Not once?" calls the woman. "No!" shouts back the man. "Not once. Every football player in Australia agrees that I am the best full-back there has ever been". And with that he adopts the classic close checking full-back stance - legs apart ready to spring off, body in a protective position to cut off a lead and with his arms stretched out ready to punch the ball from an opponent or take a strong pack mark.
"OK!" screams the woman. "I'll trust you. I've no choice! Here she comes!" So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby's shawl catches on the woman's watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with her little arms and legs flailing. The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man. The man remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only inches from hitting the ground the man dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in his outstretched right hand, pulls her in towards his chest and shields her body with his left hand and arm.
He hits the ground heavily on his right side and lies motionless on the pavement for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he raises himself to his feet and turns to face the crowd and everyone sees that the child is alive. The crowd is awe-struck. Then the crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. The man, still clutching the child to his chest in his right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation. Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground, and kicks her 50 metres down the road.
A lifelong Melbourne supporter died early January and his wife rang the club to ask whether, if he was cremated, his ashes could be scattered on the hallowed turf of the MCG. A spokesman for the club very kindly explained that they had many such requests and it really was not possible to fulfil all of them. But, as he had been a supporter for many years, the spokesman had a suggestion. His idea was that the club would arrange for him to be stuffed and, as his season ticket was still valid, he could be placed in his seat complete with scarf, beanie etc. and he could then be there for the rest of the season. The wife thought this was a very good idea so the club made all the arrangements and propped him up in his seat wearing his Demons scarf etc. At half time at the Collingwood game he got up and walked out!
How many Geelong. fans does it take to change a light bulb?
520,001. That's one to change it, 20,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the team of the century replica jumper! In fact, it could be argued 540,002, as someone will have to compare the light bulb to Gary Ablett.
"The Chad is great"
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magpie jeff
hahahhaahhaah this is funny shit i love it..keep those richmomd jokes comming i hate the pricks!!
WE MARCH WITH PRIDE,WE MARCH WITH LOVE,WHEN IT COMES TO OUR COLLINGWOOD WE FOREVER MARCH ! we will never forget our great number #42...GO YOU BLOODY PIES yeaaah LETS KICK ASS.lets kill the bloody bastards !!
http://www.mp3.com/joffa
WE MARCH WITH PRIDE,WE MARCH WITH LOVE,WHEN IT COMES TO OUR COLLINGWOOD WE FOREVER MARCH ! we will never forget our great number #42...GO YOU BLOODY PIES yeaaah LETS KICK ASS.lets kill the bloody bastards !!
http://www.mp3.com/joffa
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junkboy75
- Posts: 840
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2001 6:01 pm
your wish is my command 
Q: What do you call a Richmond fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd
Q: How do you circumcise a Tiger fan?
A: Punch his sister under the chin.
Matthew Knights was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. He phoned her up and said,
"what the hell's going on? I waited for Two hours in the cold."
She said, "I am not going out with you now, we are finished".
"Why?" He asked.
She replied "One of my friends said you are a Paedophile."
"A Paedophile?" cried Knights, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!!"
Q: How many Richmond fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
A man walks into a pub in Richmond and orders a dry white wine. Everyone in the pub suddenly stops talking and looks at the stranger.
"You are not from around here, are you" says the barman.
"No, actually I am from Sydney" replies the stranger.
"And what do you in Sydney" enquired the Barman.
"Well actually, I am a taxidermist"
"And what may I ask is a taxidermist"
"I stuff and mount dead animals"
At that the barman turns to the crowded bar and announces "It's all right lads, he's one of us"
A Collingwood fan, an Essendon fan and a Richmond fan are walking through the countryside when they see a sheep stuck in a gate.
Collingwood fan: God, I wish it was Cameron Diaz.
Essendon fan: No, I wish it was Naomi Campbell.
Richmond fan: I wish it was f**king dark!
Q: What's the similarity between a Richmond fan and whiskey?
A: They both come in tots (LOL, think about it...JB75)
"everyone's a winner hot pies"
Q: What do you call a Richmond fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd
Q: How do you circumcise a Tiger fan?
A: Punch his sister under the chin.
Matthew Knights was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. He phoned her up and said,
"what the hell's going on? I waited for Two hours in the cold."
She said, "I am not going out with you now, we are finished".
"Why?" He asked.
She replied "One of my friends said you are a Paedophile."
"A Paedophile?" cried Knights, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!!"
Q: How many Richmond fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
A man walks into a pub in Richmond and orders a dry white wine. Everyone in the pub suddenly stops talking and looks at the stranger.
"You are not from around here, are you" says the barman.
"No, actually I am from Sydney" replies the stranger.
"And what do you in Sydney" enquired the Barman.
"Well actually, I am a taxidermist"
"And what may I ask is a taxidermist"
"I stuff and mount dead animals"
At that the barman turns to the crowded bar and announces "It's all right lads, he's one of us"
A Collingwood fan, an Essendon fan and a Richmond fan are walking through the countryside when they see a sheep stuck in a gate.
Collingwood fan: God, I wish it was Cameron Diaz.
Essendon fan: No, I wish it was Naomi Campbell.
Richmond fan: I wish it was f**king dark!
Q: What's the similarity between a Richmond fan and whiskey?
A: They both come in tots (LOL, think about it...JB75)
"everyone's a winner hot pies"