What made me laugh today...

Nick's current affairs & general discussion about anything that's not sport.
Voice your opinion on stories of interest to all at Nick's.

Moderator: bbmods

Locked
AN_Inkling
Posts: 13521
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:29 am

Post by AN_Inkling »

A South Australian atheist who successfully had his gun licence printed with a photo of him wearing a colander on his head has been forced to undertake a psychological test to prove he is fit to own firearms.
I hope this is now a standard test for all religious applicants :wink:.
Well done boys!
User avatar
1061
Posts: 2055
Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:05 pm

Post by 1061 »

User avatar
stui magpie
Posts: 54845
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 10:10 am
Location: In flagrante delicto
Has liked: 132 times
Been liked: 168 times

Post by stui magpie »

I was invited to go to the Peter mac breakfast this morning and knocked it back. Driving into the G early morning-pass. So a woman who works for me went. He comments were hilarious. She's not a footy follower and had no idea what it was all about. Had a photo taken with each of Bucks and MM and didn't really know who either of them were. :lol:

The main thing she took out of the morning was, next time we're both invited to something like that, get in before me with the apology. :P
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
User avatar
think positive
Posts: 40243
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:33 pm
Location: somewhere
Has liked: 342 times
Been liked: 105 times

Post by think positive »

stui magpie wrote:I was invited to go to the Peter mac breakfast this morning and knocked it back. Driving into the G early morning-pass. So a woman who works for me went. He comments were hilarious. She's not a footy follower and had no idea what it was all about. Had a photo taken with each of Bucks and MM and didn't really know who either of them were. :lol:

The main thing she took out of the morning was, next time we're both invited to something like that, get in before me with the apology. :P
WHY would you knock that back!

That woulda been cool
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
User avatar
stui magpie
Posts: 54845
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 10:10 am
Location: In flagrante delicto
Has liked: 132 times
Been liked: 168 times

Post by stui magpie »

I knocked it back because the idea of having to drive into the city in peak hour traffic chills me. Driving to the MCG, No!!!

I'd have to drive to go because I'd then have to get to work afterward and public transport is not an option to get to work or home.


Anyway, today I laughed because of how easy it is to make an insurance company jump to attention when there's money involved.

Scenario, Tuesday night the SES taped up the hole in my roof with a tarp that they tied down and various points. They warned me it was only temporary.

last night I got **** sleep due to listening to the wind trying to frag the tarp all night. This morning as I was leaving for work in the dark I noticed that 1 of the ropes had come loose. Uh oh.

So when I got to work I called the insurance company and told them the tarp was coming loose and with the weather forecast it wasn't looking good. The dipshit on the phone basically gave me the "Thanks for that, I've made a note" routine. OK sweetie, your call.

Bit after lunch the daughter rang me. She'd been out for an hour or so, just got home and the tarp is basically in the park next door. Whoops.

So, rang the insurance company again. This time I basically laid it out for them. What I said, in summary was:

Remember me? I have a hole in my roof.
The tarp that was on my roof has been blown off meaning that hole is now exposed to the elements.
Rain is forecast
At the moment all the damage is external. If I get rain through that hole it will cause damage to the ceiling and wall which will make the cost of repairs significantly higher.
What would you like me to do? I'm not climbing on the roof and I can't call the SES back.

"Ummm, can I put you on hold for a minute?"

3 minutes on hold, they have suddenly approved for her to contact the company that was contracted to quote for repairs to do a quick "safety" fix.

By the time I got home a bloke and been out, put the tarp away, nailed up a couple of temporary battens over the hole and used some of the spare tiles from the roof to make it waterproof again. And no frigging tarp flapping round. :lol:

take your time fixing the rest of it.
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
watt price tully
Posts: 20842
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 1:14 pm

Post by watt price tully »

stui magpie wrote:I knocked it back because the idea of having to drive into the city in peak hour traffic chills me. Driving to the MCG, No!!!

I'd have to drive to go because I'd then have to get to work afterward and public transport is not an option to get to work or home.


Anyway, today I laughed because of how easy it is to make an insurance company jump to attention when there's money involved.

Scenario, Tuesday night the SES taped up the hole in my roof with a tarp that they tied down and various points. They warned me it was only temporary.

last night I got **** sleep due to listening to the wind trying to frag the tarp all night. This morning as I was leaving for work in the dark I noticed that 1 of the ropes had come loose. Uh oh.

So when I got to work I called the insurance company and told them the tarp was coming loose and with the weather forecast it wasn't looking good. The dipshit on the phone basically gave me the "Thanks for that, I've made a note" routine. OK sweetie, your call.

Bit after lunch the daughter rang me. She'd been out for an hour or so, just got home and the tarp is basically in the park next door. Whoops.

So, rang the insurance company again. This time I basically laid it out for them. What I said, in summary was:

Remember me? I have a hole in my roof.
The tarp that was on my roof has been blown off meaning that hole is now exposed to the elements.
Rain is forecast
At the moment all the damage is external. If I get rain through that hole it will cause damage to the ceiling and wall which will make the cost of repairs significantly higher.
What would you like me to do? I'm not climbing on the roof and I can't call the SES back.

"Ummm, can I put you on hold for a minute?"

3 minutes on hold, they have suddenly approved for her to contact the company that was contracted to quote for repairs to do a quick "safety" fix.

By the time I got home a bloke and been out, put the tarp away, nailed up a couple of temporary battens over the hole and used some of the spare tiles from the roof to make it waterproof again. And no frigging tarp flapping round. :lol:

take your time fixing the rest of it.
Great stuff Stui.
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman
watt price tully
Posts: 20842
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 1:14 pm

Post by watt price tully »

“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman
User avatar
think positive
Posts: 40243
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:33 pm
Location: somewhere
Has liked: 342 times
Been liked: 105 times

Post by think positive »

Degrees of stupid

My phone rings as I'm about to get in the shower, all sweaty from working out.
A rather annoyed guy says "I'm here to look at the caravan and your husbands not here."
Me "oh, did he know you were coming?"
Him "yeah I told him I was coming this morning and I'd give him a call half an hour before I got here"
Me asking the obvious "did you call him?"
Him "um, no"
me "well I guess that's why he's not there then!"

So chuck on trackies and off I go to the workshop.

So when he finally finished kicking the tyres, I'm on the way home and starving, so I go through Maccas.

"2 seared chicken wraps with no sauce please"
Waitress through speaker " what sauce do you want, we have xxx or xxx."
Me "no sauce thanks"
Her " well I have to put one down"
Me "you choose"
Her, "oh, ok"

Seriously, how do these people manage to work out how to go to sleep at night!
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
User avatar
stui magpie
Posts: 54845
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 10:10 am
Location: In flagrante delicto
Has liked: 132 times
Been liked: 168 times

Post by stui magpie »

^

I wonder who dresses them in the morning. The scary thing is that they pilot large metal boxes at high speeds on roads.
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
User avatar
think positive
Posts: 40243
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:33 pm
Location: somewhere
Has liked: 342 times
Been liked: 105 times

Post by think positive »

stui magpie wrote:^

I wonder who dresses them in the morning. The scary thing is that they pilot large metal boxes at high speeds on roads.
Shit that is scary!
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
User avatar
Dark Beanie
Posts: 4859
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2004 12:41 pm
Location: A galaxy far, far away.
Has liked: 2 times
Been liked: 26 times

Post by Dark Beanie »

Amongst all the sadness of what has happened in the Ukraine, I saw this story....

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/jehan- ... 6991673939

Didn't make me laugh out loud but made me smile, because there is still love out there in the world.
If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but just grumble with the rest. - Jerome K Jerome
watt price tully
Posts: 20842
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 1:14 pm

Post by watt price tully »

Dark Beanie wrote:Amongst all the sadness of what has happened in the Ukraine, I saw this story....

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/jehan- ... 6991673939

Didn't make me laugh out loud but made me smile, because there is still love out there in the world.
:D :lol: 8)
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman
User avatar
think positive
Posts: 40243
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:33 pm
Location: somewhere
Has liked: 342 times
Been liked: 105 times

Post by think positive »

ha, that's cool
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
watt price tully
Posts: 20842
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 1:14 pm

Post by watt price tully »

Just got home from work & I was sent this (25 seconds):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPl8V_21E-8&app=desktop
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman
User avatar
stui magpie
Posts: 54845
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 10:10 am
Location: In flagrante delicto
Has liked: 132 times
Been liked: 168 times

Post by stui magpie »

OK, So I just learned that there's apparently another option for menstruating women to use other than tampons and pads, something called a cup.

And one of the best product reviews ever, up there with the hair removal cream ones.

http://www.amazon.com/review/R39TB4HUVK ... ive=390957

Do not read this with a drink in hand :lol:
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
Locked