Grand Overview of the 16 Teams.

[Sly]

Essendon: undisputedly on the slide - well, screw it: they're gone. They defeated an extremely undermanned St. Kilda in unconvincing fashion three weeks ago, only played 15 decent minutes of football to win against Adelaide two weeks ago, and this weekend, the Bombers went scoreless. What'd be just as great a concern is that the players went without a touch. I think Kevin Sheedy may have been hoping for the death of James Hird from serious concussion to provide the boys with added motivation and an open spot to permenantly promote rookie Damien Peverill. As that didn't happen, you can see things simply aren't going Essendon's way.

Port Adelaide: if they can maintain their form throughout the second-half of the Season, they'll be the sleeper going into the finals. Always competitive at home (and even in their bad and mediocre years), they could conceivably get two Home-Finals and march directly into the Grand Final, fitter than Teams which might have to travel at least once or play on the spacious MCG or the harder, injury-inducing surface of the Colonic. If they can challenge for the Grand Final, well, if I were the Port President, I'd be asking for my Black & White Stripes back.

Hawthorn: terrible, terrible, terrible! And quite obviously on the major-slide. They tried their very best to lose against the Kangaroos on the weekend - and as bad as Hawthorn are, they failed in doing that, carrying out a 3-point victory. On the brighter side for the Hawks, though, and that is Brett O'Farrell's emerging as a terrific flash-in-the-pan. Wonder if Shaun Rehn will survive beyond this Season. It may be cruel, but I hope the Hawks crash in the second half of the Season - Schwabby comes up with some really amusing monologues following losses. You wonder when the Administration will get around to telling him to shut up.

Richmond: you wouldn't be condemned if you'd said you didn't expect much from the Tigers following their mini-collapse mid-year. After all, supporters were being orchestrated to dump manure on the front doorstep, the Administration was filled with it as it came directly from Clinton Casey's mouth and Danny Frawley was coaching a Squad of it. But Richmond's regrouped really well and gotten back to the point where they can really and truly disappoint their supporters. The saddest thing is that their supporters will actually be surprised by it all.

Collingwood: look, I don't want to pre-empt Collingwood's progress throughout the Season. Celebrating prematurely is just not the Collingwood-way. Really, it isn't. But without a doubt, emerging as a scintillating, multi-faceted unit who aren't marked with the inherent softness of a Richmond or Hawthorn. Definitely rely on 'Fabio' McKee to hold-up in the Ruck and keep young Josh Fraser as a fantastic utility-sort option. Maybe it's still a bit early to call, but definite Premiers for the 2001-2002-2003 Seasons.

Carlton: well, the typical and cultural arguments are coming out - too old, too slow, too gay, bad recruiting, an arrogant lack of foresight bordering on Administrative lobotimization. A recent argument is that Carlton's being hindered by having Optus Oval as their home-ground and that they should give it a flick. I disagree. I think Carlton should remain at Optus Oval, but Optus Oval should be given the flick to Launceston, Tasmania.

Brisbane Lions: "...if it bleeds, we can kill it." Leigh Matthews said that. I'm not sure if it was in reference to the Lions playing Essendon or to his Coaching of the Brisbane Lions. Collingwood were immortal and immortalized in 1990 - and then Leigh found out they bled, and thus killed them. I don't rate Matthews ultra-defensive style of Coaching - particularly with the arsenal he has at his disposal. Have been saved by the plethora of games at the GABBA. Are yet to prove anything elsewhere, though - and probably still have to prove themselves at the GABBA, despite their flukey win against Essendon.

Western Bulldogs: tough, brave, forthright and honest - you can use none of these words to describe the Artists formerly known as Footscray. Have the annoying habit of popping-up when you think they're done for a completely unexpected win against superior opposition and dropping-out when you think they've consolidated for a disastrous loss against incredibly inferior opposition. Will make the 8 by the virtue that I think just about everybody's better than them.

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Sydney Swans: have been on the decline for a couple of years, but are really just finding out about it now. That they not only have Andrew Schauble at Center-Half Back but also the fact that he won their Best & Fairest last year should've alerted them much earlier - well, live and learn. Have fluked a couple of wins against quality, if not superior opposition with the element of 'surprise' - that being, surprising the opposition in trying to play football, instead of loafing around waiting for an injection from the AFL. Next year, the Sydney Swans will be handing out 3D Glasses with their Membership Packages so that their Supporters can experience and enjoy three-dimensional theatre for the first time.

Adelaide: when they win, they're the "sleeping giant." When they lose, there's question-marks on the careers of many of their Senior and premiership players. Well, where the hell are Adelaide in the grand scheme of things? Despite (or in spite of) the midfield-brigade containing MacLeod, Goodwin, Ricciuto and Edwards, Adelaide are neither here nor there. They've won some definitive quality matches - such as against Carlton at Optus and Brisbane at the Gabba. But conversely, when they've lost they've looked hopeless - such as against the Bulldogs in Adelaide and Essendon at the Colonic. Well, seeing as South Australia has very little in terms of tourist attractions, I'd suggest a big National Car Wash manned by the Adelaide Team be located in South Australia. That'd make both the State and the Team good for something...other than ridicule.

Geelong: poor "Bomber" Thompson. Besides from one or two people, I've heard no recriminations against his Coaching. He seems to be doing everything imaginable to make Geelong competitive. But it seems that the appointment of any Coach to the Geelong Football Club - particularly now with their financial problems - is like putting a bandage over an amputated limb. Sure, it's some sort of solution but it's not going to get the job done. Thompson's the latest of a long line of coaches (and careers) who have been sucked into the career-suicidal abyss of Geelong. When the likes of Sam Newman and Dwayne Russell deride the Team, they themselves are attacked for being hyper-critical. In fact, they're just being truthful.

Kangaroos: it's always sad when a former super-power falls by the wayside - so this gleeful feeling I have is quite unusual. The Roos are another one who have been hit with calls of 'poor recruiting', 'no youth', 'stale gameplan', 'obsolete coaching', et al, etc. The truth is much simpler than that - Carey's old, injury ridden, carrying several forms of VD and is nowhere near the dominant figure he was back in 1999. If Carey could be revitalized then the Roos would be back in the hunt quick smart. As it is, they're heavily dependent on Saverio Rocca - and I think that says most of it for their current state. That Sav's leading their goalkicking with 23 for the year says it all.

Melbourne: look, I don't like to kick anybody while they're down - unless it's to kick dirt over their open graves, which could actually be the case here - but Melbourne are on one of their traditional slides after having a "good" Season last year. Concerns would be on David Schwarz - one of the few tough players at the Demons - with an eye-injury after he was a late withdrawal against Brisbane following a cream pie-to-the-face earlier in the week. Melbourne are going so bad that their Presidential Candidates may just withdraw from the Election at the end of the Season - which, for Melbourne, actually occurred a fortnight ago. (So where's the election?)

St. Kilda: what hasn't gone wrong for St. Kilda? Injuries, last quarter fade-outs and Malcolm Blight hasn't walked out on the job yet. Pre-Season, Blight took the atypical approach of not allowing the players to touch footballs while they concentrated solely on fitness - well, it looks like Blight's carrying that policy throughout the Season, as the Saints still aren't touching the footballs when they run around out there. Injuries to Club stalwarts' Robert Harvey, Nathan Burke and Stewart Loewe have left Peter Everitt in a leadership role - which about says it all.

West Coast: how the mighty (and Ken Judge) have fallen. The Eagles have been razed by poor recruiting, defensive coaching and psychedelic brainwashing as the players have suffered schizoid embolisms from prolonged exposure to the Eagles' Away-jumper. I don't subscribe to the excuse that injuries have decimated the West Coast. I know better - and know that the players simply don't want to play for or under Ken Judge. The recruitment of Troy Wilson and David Sierakowski to be their key-figures in attack, along with Scotty Cummings, pretty much shows what Ken Judge knows about Football.

Fremantle: what started out rather funny is just sort of sad and pathetic now. Usually, the sacking of a Coach galvanizes a Team - especially in the short term - but Fremantle look worse under Ben Allan than they did under Damien Drum. Probably a mistake to actually sack a Coach - despite his lack of success - when the players have no problem with him. I have no idea why they couldn't have achieved the same effect by telling Drum they wouldn't be renewing his contract, thus allowing them to look for a new Coach immediately. Moves such as Drum's sacking smack of political maneuvering creeping into the Locker-rooms. I heard that the Dockers were going to cut 1.3 million dollars worth of talent in an end of Season clean-out - that should leave them with 4 players going into Pre-Draft Trading, as I sure as hell can't see who (Modra and Bell aside) would be on anything down there.



<B>Sly.
<FONT size="3">MTA.</FONT s>
The Collingwood Rant. </B>

[magpie24]

A Premiership for the Pies Sly..lol

With a little bit of luck i am dead certain we can be in the top four.
Although i hope your prediction comes true.

On Ken Judge,spot on mate.Will he last the season????


******WE WILL RISE IN OUR WAY*****

[Hiya-and-Higher]

You got it right in a virtuoso report Sly.
Everyone except Collingwood (and Port) are on the Slyde.

[Mike]

It's probably lucky for you Sly that I only just got around to reading this properly and that, because we've just come off a big win, I'm in a fairly tolerant mood, because my censorship nerve is twitching - not discounting the fact that it's too late now anyway.

When I think of the virtual time that I've spent holding your virtual hand and the virtual relationship that we've virtually established, I become very disappointed that you could treat me in such a cavalier manner.

What have you done? If you can't figure it out have another read of your post.

I very nearly scrubbed your membership and banned you!

[Sly]

I'm guessing it was the "Send Optus Oval to Launceston, Tasmania" quip?

Apologies, (if that's the case). I'll re-propose that Optus Oval be relocated on the top of Ayers Rock instead.



<B>Sly.
<FONT size="3">MTA.</FONT s>
The Collingwood Rant. </B>