How to explain AFL teams to overseas Soccer fans"

[MAGPIRA]

LOL! I got this at work the other day and thought it was worth sharing!!

"HOW TO EXPLAIN AFL TEAMS TO OVERSEAS SOCCER FANS"

ADELAIDE - ITALY - Fanatical supporter base but boarderline certifiable, however fashion sense has not migrated from Europe and moccasins haven't gone the other way

BRISBANE - COLOMBIA - Good at home - hopless away. Also quite wealthy, but where does all that money come from? Often in lala land with glazed eyes.

CARLTON - USA - Haven't quite worked out the difference between sport and business. Supporting Carlton is a bit like supporting a multinational. C'mon Coco-Cola, Go get em Microsoft. Loud figure head leaders who are clueless about the world outside their cocoon, but enjoy touching up young women while full of drink.

COLLINGWOOD - IRAQ - They live in a tenth century dictatorship and still talk about the glories from the Byzantine era. Don't tell them they're crap, as you'll probably be knifed! Known to roger each other's wives and/or sisters.

ESSENDON - BRAZIL - Arrogant, conceited and it's always great to see them lose. Star forwards blantantly protected by referees/umpires with everybody but their own supporters knowing and acknowledging this!

FREMANTLE - WESTERN SAMOA - Any loss by nine goals or less is declared an unofficial victory. Any talent must be imported with coaches/managers being B grade operators.

GEELONG - THE CENTRAL AFRICAN QUALIFIERS (NIGERIA, CAMEROON ETC..) - Flashy, unpredictable. They quite often make the finals but never win. Been known to suffer from current/ex stars attracting the spotlight for nocturnal antics of the flesh!

HAWTHORN - THE NETHERLANDS - Always competitive but have absoloutely no fashion sense (Does this brown shirt go well with my orange jeans?). Also many pretty boys on the list who fancy themselves.

KANGAROOS - THE PALESTINIANS - They have no homeland and probably never will. Have a bad record with authorities, especially their team leaders.

MELBOURNE - URUGUAY - Always talking about the glorious past but for the past 40 years they've been less than ordinary. Fans flock when in form, but abscond to beach/ski fields when not.

PORT ADELAIDE - SOUTH AFRICA - After years in exile and telling everyone how good they are, they finally enter the competition and prove to be extremely average. See Adelaide/Italy for fashion sense and double it!

RICHMOND - ENGLAND - Largest supporter base of optimistic pessimists. They hope they're gonna win but know they won't! Upon failing, fans go ballistic at anybody within reach/earshot etc. Primadonna big stars who often struggle in big games. Would love to go the knuckle much more - fans too!

ST KILDA - SPAIN - Another large and fanatical supporter base, with virtually nothing to cheer about. Likely to self implode at any moment. Fashionable destination but has a seedy side underneath.

SYDNEY - AUSTRALIA - The majority of their supporters have no idea about the game and only watch them when they're winning. Enjoy the big events, but struggle badly to get into the spirit, unless playing in the heartland of the code's and general sports supporters.

WEST COAST - WEST GERMANY - Methodical, ruthless and boring to watch. Star has been in steady decline over recent years, while holding onto aging players who are battling to perform against injury. Local expectation and chips on their shoulders.

WESTERN BULLDOGS - SCOTLAND - Happy to qualify, but that's all they'll ever do. Bizarre dress sense by supporters, apparently rarely known to wear underwear and when worn, it's usually soiled!

[Danzy Rocks!!!]

hahahahahahaha

~BANGER JR~

[AlfAndrews]

That's hilarious.

And frighteningly spot-on in places. The USA-CARLTON connection is excellent. And the SYDNEY-AUSTRALIA link is sadly all too true. BRAZIL-ESSENDON is pretty accurate, especially after last week. I had a good laugh at the IRAQ-COLLINGWOOD comparison, but in many ways we've probably got as much claim to comparison with ENGLAND as RICHMOND has.

SCOTLAND-WESTERN BULLDOGS ... ROTFLMFAO !

**floreat pica**