#2 Jordan De Goey

[partypie]

Titus O’Reilly puts the situation in context

https://www.titusoreily.com/afl/a-highl ... 0_zGFwpNNc

[RudeBoy]

Pietilidie, you've summed it up perfectly.

This is the first time I have ever actually been ashamed of my footy club.

[Ronnie McKeowns boots]

Geez the slut-shaming is getting a bit out of hand, no need for that surely

[Ronnie McKeowns boots]

*** Hostage video from JDG ***

https://twitter.com/i/status/1540201989870862336

Edited for accuracy

Sacrificed at the altar of Wowserism.....where's his bloody sack-cloth!

[think positive]

Thankyou, pietillidie. Your post adds an extra, appalling layer to what already was a disgusting dereliction by the club of its duty of care towards JDG. What has happened to JDG seems quite horrific, given the information that you have provided about ADHD.

Given that information would you offer him a 3.2 million contract?

[Magpietothemax]

Yep, provided he comes out of this nightmare with his desire and will to play at AFL level intact.

[stui magpie]

@Ptiddy, just wanted to say thanks for your writing about ADHD. So much of it resonated with me because of my grandson.

Always a lovely kid but no impulse control and, once he got wound up would just go and go . No concept of consequences and when he was punished it had zero impact on his behavior.

He was diagnosed with high level ADHD a few months back, he's now after a couple of tries on slow release Ritalin and the difference is incredible. His personality hasn't changed, he can still run around like a mad bastards, but now he can focus which actually means more of his personality can shine through.

He can still stuff up and do dumb things, but that's par for 6 year olds.

[BazBoy]

Anyone see FB stating Jordan De Goey $75 Dinner Show held at Braybrook Hotel on 26th July 2022
$90 photo shoot with Jordan

Has to be some ones joke surely

[PyreneesPie]

Apparently, the club's prllll shame people with a condition associated with a far higher occurrence of Rejection Sensitivity Dysmorphia, anxiety and depression, and suicidal ideation, planning and enactment.

Moreover, even if the person does nothing wrong and simply engages in consensual and openly negotiated flirtation with someone, they will still be submitted to public shame and humiliation, and forced to apologise.

Furthermore, the protocols include setting said person up for future mob bullying and humiliation due to there being no definitive cure for the condTition.

If you were a deranged sadist in a lair somewhere you couldn't have engineered a more dangerous and appalling 'protocol'.

Thank you for taking the time and effort to clearly explain ADHD and what NOT to do when managing a footballer suffering from it.

It's been a complete abomination from the club administration and board. Fly seems to have distanced himself from crucifying Jordy, but I wonder where Wright sits in it all? Which parties would've been responsible for pulling the contract off the table I wonder?

[Piesnchess]

[Piesnchess]

@Ptiddy, just wanted to say thanks for your writing about ADHD. So much of it resonated with me because of my grandson.

Always a lovely kid but no impulse control and, once he got wound up would just go and go . No concept of consequences and when he was punished it had zero impact on his behavior.

He was diagnosed with high level ADHD a few months back, he's now after a couple of tries on slow release Ritalin and the difference is incredible. His personality hasn't changed, he can still run around like a mad bastards, but now he can focus which actually means more of his personality can shine through.

He can still stuff up and do dumb things, but that's par for 6 year olds.

Well said, and i just hope Jordon is getting all the support he can from his family now, chances are hes in a very dark place right now. This is a storm in a teacup this whole issue, and some on here run with it like he should be crucified, on most flimsy of evidence, with NO complaint from the girl in question at all, none, shes fine with it, he broke NO laws. They need a real problem in their lives, as i said elsewhere, my son is a recovering Heroin addict, he was in shocking state for yrs, when high, out of control, it was a nightmare only parents know all too well. Thankfully , hes clean now, and has a good job, turned it all around, but it was a close run thing, very close at times. Some on here need a real wake up call, to a real problem, not run with this media driven crap to slur our Club, and slur him time and again. Fact.

[RudeBoy]

Well said pnc.

[watt price tully]

i did say his diagnosis should not be used as an excuse for his continued bad behaviour, i stand by that. hes 26 years old, his life isnt one complete line of daily ****, your saying he manages his biochemical makeup the rest of the time? maybe its alcohol thats the problem? it seems to be a factor in each instance.

Believe me; then you definitely still don't get it. Let me say in your defence that very few people do.

Put it this way: do you argue that having a condition which requires the use of a wheelchair is no excuse for someone not being able to walk? Because that's the right analogy here. Similarly, it is obviously unreasonable to say that a condition which affects behaviour is no excuse for behavioural problems. On the contrary; behavioural problems are exactly what you'd expect.

Behaviour is the result of cognitive signals and cognitive signals are produced by our biochemical system. Obviously, if the biochemistry is askew, so are the signals and in turn so can the behaviour. And if you think just how complex that biochemical system is, minor glitches shouldn't surprise.

In ADHD, the key concept is salience. ………….

Thank god for McRae being such a decent and caring bloke, I tell you, because the rest of it looks uglier the more you understand the problem.

Great explanation PTID.

However ADHD like all labels and diagnoses affects different people differently. Like all labels and diagnoses it tells you about a group of signs and symptoms (as it were) but doesn’t tell you about the person.

We don’t know exactly how he experiences ADHD. We also don’t know what the club is doing specically. Unlike you I don’t think the club has hung him out to dry. The club has a team of support people including a psychologist working with him and he’s probably getting a lot of support before, during and after his behavioural issues so to speak.

What is consistent with JDG’s judgement and behaviour and with the Melbourne Football Club boys recently is alcohol. Combine ADHD and alcohol then……

In my work I see / work with people in an acute phase / crises often secondary to Alcohol and Drugs. The former is certainly the most common.

Your notes about rejection is a whole other world especially so for people with BPD but that’s another story.

Cheers WPT

[pietillidie]

@Ptiddy, just wanted to say thanks for your writing about ADHD. So much of it resonated with me because of my grandson.

Always a lovely kid but no impulse control and, once he got wound up would just go and go . No concept of consequences and when he was punished it had zero impact on his behavior.

He was diagnosed with high level ADHD a few months back, he's now after a couple of tries on slow release Ritalin and the difference is incredible. His personality hasn't changed, he can still run around like a mad bastards, but now he can focus which actually means more of his personality can shine through.

He can still stuff up and do dumb things, but that's par for 6 year olds.

NP, I'm so glad to know your grandson has caring and understanding people around him and is being treated. I should've said that the good news with the condition is that, unlike something like anxiety and depression, which can be more nebulous and far trickier to treat, stimulants are very often effective treatments for ADHD. (WPT can tell you this, but my understanding is that schizophrenia treatments are similarly more effective than treatments for mood disorders).

With treatment in hand, people with ADHD can start recognising and valuing their own strengths and unique capabilities, which are more than enough to do well in life.

It sounds so counterintuitive that a stumulant can help with ADHD, but when you think about it through the lens of salience, having the biochemical system stimulated so signals can be better differentiated, rather than being a giant bucket of similarly weighted white noise, makes complete sense. Moreover, if you take the dopaminergic model to be a good explanation (notwithstanding that other neurotransmitters matter, too), then thoughts finally have a persistence and motivation to action associated with them, making them salient not only as an idea, but as an idea to be acted upon. In fact, while the hyperactivity gets all the headlines because it's so obvious in kids, the blunting of the motivational system and inability to connect experiences and follow up on plans become the real disability over time if not treated.

In your grandson's case, your family getting onto it so early bodes extremely well for him, because those diagnosed in later life have carried the misunderstanding of the world and themselves for so long, and the finger pointing and disgust of others for so long, they end up with an incredibly difficult complex of things to untangle. Imagine blaming yourself for decades, and hating on yourself for decades, and being bullied and humiliated for decades, because no one picked the bloody thing up as your family as done.

And that's why care matters so much, because care makes people pause before judging even when they don't understand something.

One of the most common mistreatments is of course to focus on, say, the derivative anxiety first, throwing identification, targeted treatment and understanding off course for years. (This especially can happen in the more inattentive versions where the outward hyperactive behaviours are less evident or hidden by the person).

And then of course as WPT advises, you've got the world of the individual on top of that, meaning the experience of the condition can vary dramatically.

I could see the flooded stare and self-blame in de Goey. I might have been imagining it, but to me it was evident enough. And what people need to understand in his case is that he's only just been diagnosed and therefore only just started treatment, yet has still managed to become an awesome footballer at the highest level.

So for people to then use that knowledge of his condition to question his contract, which was based on market pricing in turn based on performance, obvious ability and achievement before anyone had a thought about ADHD, is to add insult to injury by taking away from him what he has already achieved. Five minutes ago no one knew anything about his ADHD, yet they still knew he was an incredible talent. Now they know about his ADHD, they want to retrospectively take away his achievements and objective market valuation.

In other words, some people want to double down on the historical humiliation and bullying by robbing the person of absolutely everything, including everything they achieved before anyone knew of the condition. This is most certainly not the way to respend.

Anyhow, if we can all see why care matters so much as an up-front value, as his coach has so genuinely and outstandingly demonstrated, all the better.

And well done to all on Nick's for sticking by the bloke, and people such as yourself and PyreneesPie for showing such understanding and care of those in their orbit. People can still disappoint, but having the maturity and courage to back them in even at the risk of getting a bit of egg on your face, is an incredibly underrated act of decency.

[think positive]

What a load of crap.
Seeya next time

And for the twisters I’m not talking about 6 year olds