Dealing with someone you want nothing to do with

[Presti35]

How is it done?

Shortish version is;

This guy was sacked because he groped a 19 year old girl at work. He's pushing 50. He's always been an unpleasant person to be around. Very rude, very obnoxious. He's very forward with woman and would sell his soul just to get half a chance. He'd touch up your wife, your sister, your mum, your daughter and he wouldnt give a fk.

Socially, I never had much to do with him, other than a couple or work functions. However, there were a few times he hitched a ride home, which were both complete nightmares. Approaching strangers on the train in an aggressive manner, trying to chat up women... "Hey love you look nice, where you off to tonight"... just completely embarrassing and unacceptable. He wont wear a seatbelt, he touches people all the time, puts his hands around people.

I'd say he is a compulsive liar and thief. Kind of person that'd pinch $2 off your counter. Always looking for a free drink. Invites himself to other peoples events. And does not take a hint.

My Mrs has said to me previously, she doesn't want him any where near the house. Not in the car and there's no way she wants him near our baby. After she picked me up from a work do, she made me was the car out before I went to bed. He asked her to pull over so he could take a piss.

After he was sacked, everyone's been saying how relieved they are that he's gone. And how much they didnt like him. And everyone has been saying they didnt know how to deal with him and they thought everyone else liked him, when they didnt.

Now he's recently been trying to contact everyone and I have been getting SMS' asking to catch up, a few missed calls, etc. It sounds as though he's a bit desperate and looking to cling on to anyone he can. The problem is, I dont think he is someone you can just ignore and hopes goes away. And he is someone that will be unnecessarily confronting if you say anything he doesn't like. He knows a lot of shady characters, has all our phone numbers and knows addresses and just can not be trusted in anyway.

How can you get rid of someone like this? He doesn't see that he is the problem. He doesn't see that he's in the wrong. He sees a woman and thinks fair game.

I've got enough to worry about, without this guy just turning up to my house, calling me when he's pissed, just thinking we're close mates and can show up whenever he likes.

[David]

[Presti35]

Thank you for your reply David.

I just feel like he wont accept any kind of message suggesting we dont want him around. He's a complete nightmare.

I'm not overly worried about hurting his feelings, I just dont want him in my life and I dont want him to think we are friends in any kind of way.

The girl didnt want to take things further. It was investigated, and he was removed. I'm not sure if the police were involved. It was kind of like... he's gone now, move along. But yes he full on grabbed her breast more than once and he touched her bottom and would touch her hair a lot. Of course no one really knew about this until after he was gone. It all happened when no one else was around, but the cameras caught him.

I almost felt sorry for him. But he has done this to himself. The way he acts around women is absolutely unacceptable. I saw him in the lunch room eyeballing a teenage girl. The receptionist saw him too and pulled him up on it. Basically she was bent over putting something into the fridge and he said how much he'd love to. So, I almost felt sorry for him, because I can see he is desperate for friends, etc. But no. He is an animal. A complete prick that would take advantage of anyone. It's a very sad case. I dont wish him harm. I dont wish him anything bad. I just dont want him around.

There's a bit more to it all, but yeah, it's just a real worry that he's trying to re-connect with myself and a few others.

I'd love for him to look at himself and say what he has done is wrong and he needs to be better.

[stui magpie]

My first preference would be to ignore him, but if that doesn't work,, simply respond to a test with "we aren't friends, don't contact me again" then block his number.

If he shows up at your house unannounced, It's f off or I call the Police.

Your job is to protect you and your family, you have no obligation to educate idiots.

[David]

[lazzadesilva]

It’s a situation where you need to man up and simply assert yourself in a honest but firm manner. Need to look him in the eye and tell him that you don’t wish to deal with him anymore. You might be surprised by his reaction to your assertiveness. If he reacts badly, you walk away without comment. If he gets violent you call the police. Sounds good in theory see how that works!

[Skids]

I'm with Lazza. While it can be a bit difficult, I've found it to be effective.

Had a similar situation years ago when I bumped into an old school mate. Hadn't seen him for 20 years, did a concreting job for me and just latched on. Dropping around frequently uninvited, swearing and acting the clown around my (at the time) young daughters.

I let it slide for a while but finally pulled him up.
You just need to know exactly what you're going to say and be assertive. I guess it does take some confidence, but I believe it works.
That's the problem, nobody stands up to these jokers and they think it's accepted.

[think positive]

It’s a situation where you need to man up and simply assert yourself in a honest but firm manner. Need to look him in the eye and tell him that you don’t wish to deal with him anymore. You might be surprised by his reaction to your assertiveness. If he reacts badly, you walk away without comment. If he gets violent you call the police. Sounds good in theory see how that works!

This

If he knows all the above and knows you know it just say your values don’t align, and you don’t have any interest in becoming friends. This tells him you don’t consider him a friend. If he gets aggressive tell him you just proved my point, please step away or I’ll take it further and pull out your phone. Then walk away but always be aware of where the person is. Pricks like that are usually gutless when confronted, don’t get hit from behind.

If you don’t live close and he doesn’t push it I’d probably try the ignore thing first though, I’m not a fan of confrontation. But I stand up for myself and my kids when I have to and I don’t back down.

You would be surprised how many guys fit that description, I could name a dozen in my life at some point who seem to think that behaviour is acceptable. It’s not never is.

[Presti35]

Thanks to those who replied.

I'm going to just ignore it first and see what happens. If it keeps on persisting, then I'll send a clear message.

Sounds like there's a few others that he's trying to re-connect with too.

Oddly enough a few cars have been damaged at the workplace in the last few days.

I'll keep you posted with what happens.

(Its a place I only work casually, so i'm not there all that often).

[LaurieHolden]

How goes the annexing, has he tried to make contact / any updates?

[lazzadesilva]

How goes the annexing, has he tried to make contact / any updates?

I wish to add my interest to the progress of this issue as well.

[think positive]

Ditto!

[What'sinaname]

Here's the trick

Invite the guy over, have a few drinks, then hit on him. One grab to the scote and problem solved

[stui magpie]

What if he's up for it?

[What'sinaname]

^ I don't see a problem.