.....is it still there?
Jokes Jokes and More Jokes
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think positive
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Proud Pies wrote:I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice claret.
Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it from!
Eddie? Pants? is that you?
Hahaha you had me going there!!
I was about to tell you off!
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
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Proud Pies
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Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Schooner of New"
The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the
man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says," 168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space
exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Schooner of New"
Again, the robot pours a great beer and gives it to the man
and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about V8 Super cars, MotoGP,
Tooheys beers and Supercheap Auto.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks
he will try it one more time.
He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Schooner of New," and the robot brings him
another great beer.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and asks,
"So, you people happy with Buckley as coach?
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Schooner of New"
The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the
man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says," 168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space
exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Schooner of New"
Again, the robot pours a great beer and gives it to the man
and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about V8 Super cars, MotoGP,
Tooheys beers and Supercheap Auto.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks
he will try it one more time.
He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Schooner of New," and the robot brings him
another great beer.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and asks,
"So, you people happy with Buckley as coach?
Jacqui © Proud Pies 2003 and beyond
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think positive
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stui magpie
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Just for the festive season, a few Christmas jokes.
A little girl goes to see Santa at the local shopping centre, climbs up on Santa's knee and when he asks her what she wants for Christmas she replies a Barbie and a GI Joe.
Santa looks confused and says to the little girl, "but Barbie comes with Ken, doesn't she?"
"Don't be silly" says the little girl, "Barbie fakes it with Ken, she only comes with GI Joe"
Q. How does good King Wenceslas like his Pizza?
A. Deep pan, crisp and even.
I was getting out the Christmas decorations last week to decorate the tree and found a present still wrapped that I forgot to give to the kids last year. Such a pity it was a kitten.
Q. Why is a Carlton Footballer like a Christmas tree?
A. The balls are just for decoration.
When you've got kids, Christmas is just like another day at the office. You work like buggery all day and the fat pr1ck in the suit gets all the credit.
I went to see Santa at the shopping centre. He asked me what I wanted.
I told him a slab of beer, he said "Done"
I said I'd also like a carton of winnies and some condoms, he said "Done".
I said "Cheers mate, how bout a Ho Ho Ho" and he gave me your phone number.
It was the doctor's last patient consultation of Christmas Eve. A mother came in with her young daughter and asked if he would examine her because she had been showing some strange symptoms, including a significant increase in weight, sickness most mornings and a number of strange cravings.
He checked her out very carefully and eventually told the mother that her daughter was unquestionably pregnant. At which news she protested very strongly.
'Don't be ridiculous, my daughter has never been with a man'
The girl confirmed that this was true and added that she had never so much as kissed a man.
The doctor studied the girl very carefully, then quietly stood up, walked to the window and stared out of it.
Suspecting the worst the mother asked if there was something wrong.
"No, not really" replied the doctor. 'It might just be a coincidence, but the last time this happened a bright star appeared the East.'
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Q. Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
A. Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
The 12 Days of Christmas
December 14, 1992
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.
My love always,
Agnes
December 15, 1992
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
December 16, 1992
Dear John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.
All my love,
Agnes
December 17, 1992
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 1992
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 1992
Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh?
These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 1992
John:
What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 1992
O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows.
There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.
Agnes
December 22, 1992
Hey Shithead:
What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds.
What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
You'll get yours !
Agnes
December 23, 1992
You rotten prick:
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long.
Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm calling the police on you !
Agnes
December 24, 1992
Listen ^&*^*%:
What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 1992
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight.
With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
[img]http://mike_mcqueen.tripod.com/stop.jpg[/img]
[img]http://mike_mcqueen.tripod.com/santapoo.jpg[/img]
Merry Christmas everyone.
A little girl goes to see Santa at the local shopping centre, climbs up on Santa's knee and when he asks her what she wants for Christmas she replies a Barbie and a GI Joe.
Santa looks confused and says to the little girl, "but Barbie comes with Ken, doesn't she?"
"Don't be silly" says the little girl, "Barbie fakes it with Ken, she only comes with GI Joe"
Q. How does good King Wenceslas like his Pizza?
A. Deep pan, crisp and even.
I was getting out the Christmas decorations last week to decorate the tree and found a present still wrapped that I forgot to give to the kids last year. Such a pity it was a kitten.
Q. Why is a Carlton Footballer like a Christmas tree?
A. The balls are just for decoration.
When you've got kids, Christmas is just like another day at the office. You work like buggery all day and the fat pr1ck in the suit gets all the credit.
I went to see Santa at the shopping centre. He asked me what I wanted.
I told him a slab of beer, he said "Done"
I said I'd also like a carton of winnies and some condoms, he said "Done".
I said "Cheers mate, how bout a Ho Ho Ho" and he gave me your phone number.
It was the doctor's last patient consultation of Christmas Eve. A mother came in with her young daughter and asked if he would examine her because she had been showing some strange symptoms, including a significant increase in weight, sickness most mornings and a number of strange cravings.
He checked her out very carefully and eventually told the mother that her daughter was unquestionably pregnant. At which news she protested very strongly.
'Don't be ridiculous, my daughter has never been with a man'
The girl confirmed that this was true and added that she had never so much as kissed a man.
The doctor studied the girl very carefully, then quietly stood up, walked to the window and stared out of it.
Suspecting the worst the mother asked if there was something wrong.
"No, not really" replied the doctor. 'It might just be a coincidence, but the last time this happened a bright star appeared the East.'
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Q. Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
A. Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
The 12 Days of Christmas
December 14, 1992
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.
My love always,
Agnes
December 15, 1992
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
December 16, 1992
Dear John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.
All my love,
Agnes
December 17, 1992
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 1992
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 1992
Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh?
These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 1992
John:
What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 1992
O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows.
There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.
Agnes
December 22, 1992
Hey Shithead:
What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds.
What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
You'll get yours !
Agnes
December 23, 1992
You rotten prick:
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long.
Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm calling the police on you !
Agnes
December 24, 1992
Listen ^&*^*%:
What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 1992
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight.
With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
[img]http://mike_mcqueen.tripod.com/stop.jpg[/img]
[img]http://mike_mcqueen.tripod.com/santapoo.jpg[/img]
Merry Christmas everyone.
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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Fire Up
- Posts: 14233
- Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:04 pm
- Location: in a house
A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the
afternoon.
Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".
The somewhat irate spouse called her mate's cell phone and demanded:
"Where the heck are you?"
... ...
Husband: "Darling, you remember that Jewellery shop where you saw the
diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have
money that time and said, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day'?"
Wife, with a smile, blushing: "Yes I remember that, my love."
Husband: "Well, I'm in the Pub next to that shop."
TEQUILA!!
A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills... The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it! He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well... you pay ten dollars... and IF you pass three tests... you get all the money!!!"
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up! "What are the...... three tests?"
"Pay FIRST..." says the bartender... "Those are the rules."
So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar...
"OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do...
FIRST: You have to drink that ENTIRE GALLON of pepper tequila... the WHOLE thing, all at ONCE... and you CAN'T make a face while doing it...
SECOND: There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth... You have to REMOVE the tooth with your BARE HANDS...
THIRD: There's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has NEVER reached orgasm during intercourse... You've gotta MAKE THINGS RIGHT for her."
The man is stunned... "I KNOW I paid my 10 bucks. but I'm not an IDIOT! I WON'T DO IT!!! You have to be NUTS to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those OTHER THINGS!!!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but your MONEY stays where it is..."
The man has a few drinks... then a few more... Finally...he asks, "WHERRRRE'S ZAAAAT TEQUIIIIIILA?!?!?!"
He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp... Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face...
Next... he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up... The people inside the bar hear a HUGE, NOISY SCUFFLE going on outside.. They hear the pit bull barking... the guy screaming... the pit bull yelping ... and then .... SILENCE ...
Just when they think the man SURELY must be dead, he staggers back into the bar ... with his shirt ripped... and large, bloody scratches all over his body...
"NOW........" he says...
"WHERES THE OLD WOMAN WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!?!?!"
afternoon.
Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".
The somewhat irate spouse called her mate's cell phone and demanded:
"Where the heck are you?"
... ...
Husband: "Darling, you remember that Jewellery shop where you saw the
diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have
money that time and said, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day'?"
Wife, with a smile, blushing: "Yes I remember that, my love."
Husband: "Well, I'm in the Pub next to that shop."
TEQUILA!!
A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills... The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it! He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well... you pay ten dollars... and IF you pass three tests... you get all the money!!!"
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up! "What are the...... three tests?"
"Pay FIRST..." says the bartender... "Those are the rules."
So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar...
"OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do...
FIRST: You have to drink that ENTIRE GALLON of pepper tequila... the WHOLE thing, all at ONCE... and you CAN'T make a face while doing it...
SECOND: There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth... You have to REMOVE the tooth with your BARE HANDS...
THIRD: There's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has NEVER reached orgasm during intercourse... You've gotta MAKE THINGS RIGHT for her."
The man is stunned... "I KNOW I paid my 10 bucks. but I'm not an IDIOT! I WON'T DO IT!!! You have to be NUTS to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those OTHER THINGS!!!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but your MONEY stays where it is..."
The man has a few drinks... then a few more... Finally...he asks, "WHERRRRE'S ZAAAAT TEQUIIIIIILA?!?!?!"
He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp... Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face...
Next... he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up... The people inside the bar hear a HUGE, NOISY SCUFFLE going on outside.. They hear the pit bull barking... the guy screaming... the pit bull yelping ... and then .... SILENCE ...
Just when they think the man SURELY must be dead, he staggers back into the bar ... with his shirt ripped... and large, bloody scratches all over his body...
"NOW........" he says...
"WHERES THE OLD WOMAN WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!?!?!"
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think positive
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5150
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You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body.
you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
Today when I awoke, you were gone.
I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.
My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you.
Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you.......
F#cking mosquito!!!!
you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
Today when I awoke, you were gone.
I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.
My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you.
Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you.......
F#cking mosquito!!!!
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watt price tully
- Posts: 20842
- Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 1:14 pm
Mate at work told me this the other day. He has a pleasant & strong Irish accent:
Man sees an ad in the classifieds in the paper.
"Talking dog for sale $10"
(if you've heard it don't interrupt)!!
Man's interested, makes call & is invited around to see the dog.
Gets introduced & the dog is amazing.
As witty as Oscar Wilde
Can quote Shakespeare
Recite poetry
The dog tells the prospective buyer that he (the dog) had been on Broadway, in Hollywood, has travelled the world.
The buyer was flabbergasted.
The prospective buyer asked the owner of the dog:
Why are you selling this dog for only $10? he's amazing.
The buyer replied:
Because he's a f*cken liar, he's never been out of the backyard.
Man sees an ad in the classifieds in the paper.
"Talking dog for sale $10"
(if you've heard it don't interrupt)!!
Man's interested, makes call & is invited around to see the dog.
Gets introduced & the dog is amazing.
As witty as Oscar Wilde
Can quote Shakespeare
Recite poetry
The dog tells the prospective buyer that he (the dog) had been on Broadway, in Hollywood, has travelled the world.
The buyer was flabbergasted.
The prospective buyer asked the owner of the dog:
Why are you selling this dog for only $10? he's amazing.
The buyer replied:
Because he's a f*cken liar, he's never been out of the backyard.
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman
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3.14159
- Posts: 6418
- Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:18 am
2 blokes and a woman were at a CIA assasin school.
The trainer walked up to the first bloke and "Mate, IF You wanna be a CIA assasin you hav to be able to kill anyone. Behind that door is your wife. Take this gun, go in there and shoot her!"
He looks at trainer aghast.
"No wae on gods green am i gunna shoot me wife. You and your CIA can go to Hell!"
Second bloke takes the gun, opens the door, but he can't do it either.
The CIA bloke walks up to the woman.
"You know the drill, here's the gun, go and shoot your Hubby."
She takes the gun, goes through and closes the door an 6 shots ring-out!
Then a scrape and a thump. Some yelling, more thumping and crashing then Silence.
The woman staggers out the door and says,
"You coulda told me the gun was loaded wiff blanks,
i had to beat him to death with the chair!"
The trainer walked up to the first bloke and "Mate, IF You wanna be a CIA assasin you hav to be able to kill anyone. Behind that door is your wife. Take this gun, go in there and shoot her!"
He looks at trainer aghast.
"No wae on gods green am i gunna shoot me wife. You and your CIA can go to Hell!"
Second bloke takes the gun, opens the door, but he can't do it either.
The CIA bloke walks up to the woman.
"You know the drill, here's the gun, go and shoot your Hubby."
She takes the gun, goes through and closes the door an 6 shots ring-out!
Then a scrape and a thump. Some yelling, more thumping and crashing then Silence.
The woman staggers out the door and says,
"You coulda told me the gun was loaded wiff blanks,
i had to beat him to death with the chair!"
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