Gender and domestic violence

[stui magpie]

^ I acknowledge that emotional abuse is a form of violence, but I don't think that qualifies at all. Emotional abuse is stuff like manipulation, bullying, isolation tactics and constant put-downs. I wouldn't put nagging in that category.

https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-i ... onal-abuse

I disagree. It's totally about manipulation and control and is done by someone determined to get their own way because what they want is more important.

There's several stereotypes about it.

happy wife, happy life. AKA, man is a life support system for a wallet and woman must get what she wants.

Jokes like "I haven't spoken to my wife for ages, I don't like to interrupt her"

What she did is commonly called "pushing his buttons" and, unfortunately, many men still do resort to violence when they get pushed too far.

For the sake of clarity, I repeat again, I am not justifying or condoning his actions nor saying she deserved it.

What I am saying is, she created a situation that she could've easily de-escalated but chose to escalate it instead.

[David]

[think positive]

Spot on David.

[swoop42]

It should be no surprise to anyone that much to our detriment men are more prone to outbursts of violence than women while women are just as capable of being emotionally manipulative as any male and some would argue even more so.

To me this situation came about because we have two emotionally immature individuals who didn't take the steps necessary to placate the situation.

He could have turned off the video game and not resorted to violence.

She could have not spoken to him like a mother scolding a child and left the area after getting his original reply.

In the end both were looking for an argument and while he will feel the wrath of the media she is asking for him to be allowed home.

Like I said in my OP dysfunctional relationship 101.

[think positive]

Reading a lot into the half conversation you see in the video..

[stui magpie]

[think positive]

[HAL]

She wants that information kept confidential.

[stui magpie]

I'm not defending him. He hit her, no excuse.

I'm just flabbergasted that anyone could think that extreme nagging is acceptable behaviour and not see that she provoked and escalated that situation.

[think positive]

[stui magpie]

Absolutely. He had several choices, so did she.

He could have:

Paused the game as you said and spoken to her
Stopped the game and did as she asked
Stop the game, get up and walk out because of the nagging.

Hitting her wasn't an option.

Out of curiosity, if you're playing on your ipad and hubby speaks to you, do you put it down and give him your full attention?

She also had choices. She could've accepted his first response instead of continuing nagging, but for mine what is really stupid is her behaviour after he slaps her the first time.

Her options then included:

Hit him back
Start crying and play the guilt card
Walk out, grab the kids and leave the house
escalate the nagging

2 of those are smart moves, 2 are dumb. She chose one of the dumb ones, twice.

[luvdids]

Absolutely. He had several choices, so did she.

He could have:

Paused the game as you said and spoken to her
Stopped the game and did as she asked
Stop the game, get up and walk out because of the nagging.

Hitting her wasn't an option.

Out of curiosity, if you're playing on your ipad and hubby speaks to you, do you put it down and give him your full attention?

She also had choices. She could've accepted his first response instead of continuing nagging, but for mine what is really stupid is her behaviour after he slaps her the first time.

Her options then included:

Hit him back
Start crying and play the guilt card
Walk out, grab the kids and leave the house
escalate the nagging

2 of those are smart moves, 2 are dumb. She chose one of the dumb ones, twice.

Under "her options" I see only 1 'smart move' - take the kids and leave.
Please don't tell me getting violent with him because he was violent to her is considered a 'smart option' by supposedly educated people???

BTW, SHE said she cooked dinner, an hour ago.

I've seen 2 versions of this episode now, the original few seconds that was on the news and the extended 3+ minute one (can't find the link in here & CBF continuing to search). By the end of the 3 minute version I was in tears. Regardless of her "nagging" he should never have laid a hand on her and could have really done without the f**n dog, I pay the bills, get the F out of my life etc etc.

And yes, the kids may have only started screaming at the end of the video but were there for all of it. What a great role model that pig is, showing his little girl how a man should treat a woman.

[think positive]

[think positive]

[Woods]

Bill Burr sorts this whole issue out in his famous 'no reason to hit a woman' stand-up routine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rksKvZoUCPQ