What did you find odd today?

[David]

[stui magpie]

I'm not sure if it's odd, it's not WTF and I CBF starting a thread about what's interesting.

Anyway, I'm stuck hme with a crook back, I've been doing work but I'm bored so i started surfing youtube. Found this chick who's African American from Portland in the US living in Brisbane going to uni and doing a series of vids on the differences between the US and Aus.

Some of her observations are quite interesting.

Here's the second vid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFkjRQwbtsE

She's careful not to criticise or paint one better than the other, but she is quite observant, if a little naive, and I found her views albeit from a suburb in Brisbane interesting.

Couple of key things I've learned:

In the US they have yellow lines down the middle of multi lane 1 way roads.

She seems almost confused that in Aus she isn't considered black, just American. She makes several different comments on how multi cultural we are including how all different types live near each other where in her part of the US, there's like different zones for different cultural groups.

Not a bad way to kill time.

[think positive]

I'll check it out later, and those yellow lines are a brilliant idea. A lot of the freeways and highways are one way only, sometimes you can't even see the their side, so having the yellow to break up multi lane but two way highways is just fantastic.

[Morrigu]

The absolute hypocrisy of God botherers who oppose same sex marriage - very very odd

Especially the ones who are divorced

Oh and just in case anyone here thinks this is directed at them - I am talking about the discussion that resulted from Bill Shorten's FB post last night congratulating Germany on legalising same sex marriage that I found very odd!!!!!!!

[stui magpie]

Had the fangs whitened on Saturday.

yellow teeth, yellow hair, but the hair is going whiter so I thought the fangs should match.

have to do this thing for the next week putting this bleach stuff in a mouthguard and during that time I can't drink red wine.

Pinot Grigot isn't actually bad

[stui magpie]

So my son just broke up with his GF and I'm on messenger with her trying to keep her calm.

[think positive]

So my son just broke up with his GF and I'm on messenger with her trying to keep her calm.

oh bugger,
um is that good or bad in your mind - the break up i mean. not just as a grandad

[David]

Ah, that sucks (well, I don't know the situation, but it's usually never a great time for either party). I expect she sees you as someone she can trust and confide in; I expect that often happens with parents-in-law (so to speak) during long-term relationships. How's your son taking it?

[stui magpie]

Son is good but wound up. He broke off with her, it's been building for a while in his head so when it all came out, it would have came out harsh.

I spoke to him before and just told him to make sure he puts his brain in gear before he opens his mouth or makes decisions on anything.

I knew it was coming but I didn't expect the reaction from her the way it came out. It was nice, she thanked me for what i'd done to help her and them. I'm still anticipating a volcanic meltdown but we'll see what happens.

I think it's a good thing overall. He's finally growing up and she's not there yet so they're in different places with what they want going forward. The difficult bit will be the kid, but shit happens and I'll do what I can to help keep things smooth.

[David]

Such a hard time in the first couple of years. God knows Lola and I have had some rocky patches in the past 12 months. I like to think it gets better as they get older, but sometimes it's better for everyone involved to call it quits sooner rather than later. Hope that they can make it all work out as painlessly as possible from here.

[stui magpie]

Yeah, stupid thing is that what seems to have bought it to a head is he's finally got actual regular work. Getting up each day and going to work has done wonders for his mental and physical health, he has purpose and even though he does long hours, it's done him good. Her on the other hand has struggled to cope with him not being around and apparently has been nagging that he's never there. She doesn't seem to get the concept that you can't have the coin to buy the stuff you want unless you work to get it, so while happy to spend the coin can't adjust to what's needed to earn it.

I sense I'm going to need to exercise some patience and diplomacy in coming weeks and months.

[David]

Yeah, seems a common refrain. Fair's fair, it's not easy to stay home and look after a toddler by yourself. But a bit of empathy going both ways never hurts. Raising a family isn't a walk in the park, it's hard work and often not a lot of fun, and a lot of people of my generation seem to struggle with that realisation. It can take time for modern relationships to adjust to that new reality, and sadly a lot don't seem to make it through.

[Mugwump]

Yeah, stupid thing is that what seems to have bought it to a head is he's finally got actual regular work. Getting up each day and going to work has done wonders for his mental and physical health, he has purpose and even though he does long hours, it's done him good. Her on the other hand has struggled to cope with him not being around and apparently has been nagging that he's never there. She doesn't seem to get the concept that you can't have the coin to buy the stuff you want unless you work to get it, so while happy to spend the coin can't adjust to what's needed to earn it.

I sense I'm going to need to exercise some patience and diplomacy in coming weeks and months.

As my father has said to me many times over the years, with (at best) partial success, "truth alone is not sufficient reason for something to be said". Sounds like you're going to need that spirit, and good luck. It's a pity people don't spend more time checking that a relationship is solid before they have kids, but marriage is one of the hardest jobs most people will ever do.

[think positive]

David I'm so glad you and Lola have such an honest relationship. Being able to walk in the other persons shoes and empathise with their position is a massive thing IMO when it comes to making things work. Yes it is hard work being a good parent, and it can be frustrating, boring, and oh so very exhausting. And you think it's just you. Your the only one not coping. Not good when your a control freak like me. There is a Facebook page called finding the joy, and it's really heart wrenching, and soul soothing, talking about how the delusions of motherhood can sap your being. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing, except my mindset at the time. I'd be more forgiving of myself, more open to hubbies help, instead of thinking I was the only one who could do what ever it was! I forgot how isolating it can be. Last week I had to take Beau to the emergency vet at about 10.45pm, because he ate something he shouldn't, and I had to sit there on my own while they took him away, made him throw up, and then made him stop, and then an hour or so later, brought him back to me, dancing at the end of his lead like it was the best day of his little life! I couldn't get him back to sleep til about 1, and then I just couldn't sleep cos I was so worried about him! I forgot about the hospital runs for croup, ear ache, etc etc. cold, tired, and knowing your going to be trashed tomorrow too! You see it was always me, but then I insisted. 'No you have to get up early, I'll go' but you forget that! I did that, it wasn't done to me! Be kind to each other, good relationships are worth fighting for, and it's amazing what can be turned around.

Mugwump, waiting to see if a relationship will work before having kids? How long is long enough? How long is a piece of string? WPT s friends started at 16, still together with the kids nearly grown, and three of them now! Or the couple who have been together forever, and suddenly the nest is empty, and you have to find each other again. I've heard it so many times. And to be honest, if I'm stuck home alone all week, the kids working or at school, I'm a bitch! God I miss my job! Balance is not easy no matter what age, and then chuck in some doozies. Sick parents. Hubby never really understood why I couldn't just walk away when my mum hurled abuse, and then more or less forgot me. Why I held on so tight. And now his dad has dementia, and he's feeling the pain of losing him, a little more every day. He gets it now. It's changed him. It changed me. And then on Australia Day last year, his life came crashing down, the person he has loved the longest was sick too. And he walked in my shoes. And now he gets it. Dealing with his own fear and grief, he's gone out on every limb there is to help our sister in law through this. Your never too old to learn new tricks. The truth is men really are from mars, and women from Venus! Its not always easy lining up the planets!

IMO The real problem these days with young relationships is the kids have grown up in a throw away society; you don't fix anything, you just chuck it out and get a new one.

Couple need to be there for each other, and sometimes one is more there than the other, depending on who's going through the wringer at that moment. A little space can be good, another view point, looking in from outside. The grass may be greener on the other side but it can be bitter too, it depends what it was fed with.

I swore I'd never pour my heart out on here again! So don't quote me in case I want to delete it! Cheers

[Morrigu]

Yeah, stupid thing is that what seems to have bought it to a head is he's finally got actual regular work. Getting up each day and going to work has done wonders for his mental and physical health, he has purpose and even though he does long hours, it's done him good. Her on the other hand has struggled to cope with him not being around and apparently has been nagging that he's never there. She doesn't seem to get the concept that you can't have the coin to buy the stuff you want unless you work to get it, so while happy to spend the coin can't adjust to what's needed to earn it.

I sense I'm going to need to exercise some patience and diplomacy in coming weeks and months.

Probably years - good Grandparents are so important in such circumstances!

I hope they can come to a private agreement re money - do everything you can to keep the CSA out of it - trust me they will screw him upwards, backwards, sideways and any way they can!!