Football media (press / radio / commentators et al)

[What'sinaname]

Listening to bruce is like walking in on your parents having sex, it's embarrassing, awkward and a little bit creepy!

This is not as uncommon as people may think.

The Lad was six when he walked in on Uncle Sven and Aunty Ludmilla in a public spa in Malmo on a family holiday to Sweden to visit the Ikea factory where Uncle Igor was an engineer.

Not even the $2-50 breakfast deal will lure The Lad into an Ikea store these days, so lurid are the mind pictures and memories of the sordid event.

I feel strangely awkward after having a meatballs a Ikea today.

[warburton lad]

Mr Whatsisname...

Do not even start The Lad on Aunty Ludmilla and her 'unique' use of the allen keys she used to shoplift from Ikea....

[Clifton Hill-Billy]

That head-on-a-toothpick, handbagger loving, turdburgler Anthony Hudson is definitely worse than Bruce. Also anybody from channel Carlscum!

[woodisgood]

Dwayne Russel.

Dwayne Russel

Dwayne......no cant say it a third time in case he appears in my loungeroom

[John Wren]

bruce is on 'pictures of you' with brian nankervis tomorrow night at 9.30pm.

i like bruce.

[jack_spain]

Listening to bruce is like walking in on your parents having sex, it's embarrassing, awkward and a little bit creepy!

This is not as uncommon as people may think.

The Lad was six when he walked in on Uncle Sven and Aunty Ludmilla in a public spa in Malmo on a family holiday to Sweden to visit the Ikea factory where Uncle Igor was an engineer.

Not even the $2-50 breakfast deal will lure The Lad into an Ikea store these days, so lurid are the mind pictures and memories of the sordid event.

Brings back fond memories lad of these characters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dubl0fMNZN4

Bob and Cheryl Ugly.

[jack_spain]

Listening to bruce is like walking in on your parents having sex, it's embarrassing, awkward and a little bit creepy!

Bertha is no good at sex so I am allowed explore my exuberant masculinity elsewhere in a celebration of modern male liberation.

Just stay away from Bruce, Hiss.

[jack_spain]

Rohan Connolly talks sense:

WITH nine games a week, the television coverage has become an integral part of football discussion. So it's impossible to ignore an issue that has an army of diehard fans just about ready to riot only a month into the season.

It's Channel Seven's AFL coverage, which, not to put too fine a point on it, has totally missed the mark this year. Technically infuriating and unbelievably self-indulgent.

Yes, the viewing figures are healthy for Seven, as they should be with no free-to-air competitor for the same audience. And yes, it now throws in some before-and-after-game analysis, correcting a previous sore point. But boy, do the match broadcasts leave a bit to be desired.

Let's start with the technical stuff. I'm not as fussed as some about the refusal to broadcast in high definition, as long as we get a reasonably clear picture. But I do want to see what the bloody hell is going on. And that's not happening.

Seven's directors are obsessed with two things - close-ups and replays. The former, time and time again, show lots of bodies hurling themselves at the ball in all their close-up, sweaty glory. And because of that, you regularly have absolutely no idea where that ball is in relation to the goals.

Speaking of commentators, why has Seven turned Bruce McAvaney and Dennis Cometti, two of the best callers televised football has had, into some sort of pantomime act?

McAvaney's knowledge made him what he was. Now it's all about "delicious", "loosies", and any other cringeworthy piece of quirkiness that will enable the whole team to talk about themselves endlessly at the expense of the game.
Cometti's one-liners were best delivered impromptu and understated. Now they're set up with all the subtlety of Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. All that's missing is the "boom-tish" on the drums in the background.

Special comments? If Seven was serious about them, it would have gone out and got clearly the best two comments men to have emerged in the past few years - David King and Matthew Lloyd.

But perhaps in a bid to cultivate a "softer, gentler" feel, they went out and got a cavalcade of "good blokes" who, frankly, don't have a lot to say.

This year, it seems they've got Brett Kirk, to play up his more spiritual side. As captain of one of the most competitive midfields the modern era has seen, he could have been telling us plenty of substance.

Instead, we've been treated to a free-form-type intro to a Saturday broadcast that has become a cult hit on YouTube with its references to "energy exchanges" and last Friday night a story on Adam Goodes, which talked about him spreading "light and love to all in his presence".

The saddest comment on Seven's coverage of today is that if you watch a game on the same network from any time prior to the turn of the millennium, you'll find far fewer bells and whistles, but callers actually calling the game, and vision that actually has some context within that game. More statistics, too.

Instead now, we have a "Megawall", colourful crowd shots, little in-jokes about BT's fat fingers, WAGs and wacky voiced-over "plays of the week". Very clever. Very 21st century.

But Seven, please spare us your catchphrase "We just love the footy". Because the genuine fans of the game know you really don't. And that if you did, you wouldn't be insulting our intelligence, or treating us with the contempt you have so far in 2012.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/c ... z1tSSwA2J2

The only thing I'd add is to ask why Seven do not show the game in HD.

[Jezza]

^
Rohan Connolly has hit the nail on the head. He's spot on about Channel 7s crap coverage. To be honest I'm not bothered by whether it's shown on HD or not, but I am bothered by the commentators and the analysts of the game. Cometti is a great commentator, but he's stuck with idiots around him and his catchphrases are not amusing anymore. Listening to Bruce makes you want to cringe. Lately, he's been terrible and trying to act like Cometti and in the process embrass himself.

Ling, Richo and Harley would be described as 'good blokes' as Connolly said, but they don't add much thought to their obvious statements. Darcy on the other hand is very dislikable because of his 'I know it all' attitude which rubs me up the wrong way. BT is suited to radio commentary, not television where we physically see the game.

All I know is I'm glad I don't have to listen to these muppets for most Collingwood games since I already go to the matches.

[bwphantom]

Is it just me or does anyone else find that Matthew Richardson is the new Captain Obvious?

And don't get me started on Luke Darcy.

I loved Richo's example of how the ball could still be bounced on the ground...using the ASTRO TURF!!! Wattawank.

As for Bruce, if him and his co patriot call another 'dare i say it...centimetre perfect' i swear i will drive to the game go into the box and rip their heads off.

I thought Christian and Daics were good callers...or am i showing bias? because they seemed very unbiased even when Pies were playing.

But in saying that Brucey is still better than walls, lane, huddo and Quarterbrain (woeful lot).

[swoop42]

Rohan Connolly would have to be close to the best in the business when it comes to reporting on football matters.

He's spot on about Bruce and Cometti.

Both once excellent commentators they've now fallen into the trap of thinking there bigger than the game and the reason why people are tuning in.

The special comments lineup of Kirk, Richardson, Hurley and Ling is underwhelming to say the least.

Kirk is especially woeful.

Darcy I've never liked and he's nearly as bad as Walls in always focusing on the ruckmen.

And finally why is Mick being underutilised and only being used at the breaks?

Move him to Saturday night to add some weight to the lineup and allow him to comment on the game while it's unfolding.

[SuperSteele22]

Bruce is the worst AFL commentator (TV and radio) by a country mile. Has THE most annoying little voice, gets excited about things that aren't worth getting excited about (and vice versa), and the way he always tries to outdo everything Dennis says shits me to tears as well!

Couldn't believe when the game on Wednesday was in the balance in the last few minutes and he started talking about the 1966 grand final just because the scores were similar... just trying to impress everyone with his knowledge of history.

His worst trait is that he hogs the commentary too... for example Dennis would be calling the play and a player might do something spectacular and before Dennis says anything Brucey pops up and goes 'OOOOHH UNBELIEVABLE'. I've noticed too, that in big matches he always, and I mean always, calls the end of the match, just so his voice is heard in highlight packages for years to come... give someone else a go FFS! eg:

When 7 called the 08 GF: 'Buddy runs him down.... Hawthorn, the champions!'

2010 GF1: 'IT'S GONNA BE A DRAW, IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!'

2010 GF2: 'So Collingwood win, by their greatest ever margin in a grand final, it doesn't get better than that!'

I'm pretty sure he called the last minute or two on Wednesday as well... get my drift?

Rant over!

[What'sinaname]

Rohan Connolly = Excellent

Anthony "manboy" Hudson = bizarre offspring of Bruce "manlove" McAvaney and Dennis "Centrmetre Penis" Cometti.

Special

[jack_spain]

And finally why is Mick being underutilised and only being used at the breaks?

Move him to Saturday night to add some weight to the lineup and allow him to comment on the game while it's unfolding.

Excellent suggestion swoop42.

[Beast]

I'd rather Bruth than David King, come to think of it I'd rather anyone than that pseudo-expert who constantly changes his views to suit the vibe.