Nick's Collingwood Bulletin Board

I am cleaning out Linen House and there are a number of items that we want to get rid of. They are FREEBIES because I can't envisage anybody in their right mind paying for them.

- ONE RAPIST (allegedly) in the form of Andrew Lovett. Hasn't been used on the footy park in over a year. Is cuddly and great with kids, although we recommend he only be used with adult supervision. For the racists amongst you, we also have Steven Milne available.

- ONE COACH - Ross Lyon. Comes with smug smile and incomplete game plan. He is programmed to repeat football cliches such as 'saints footy', 'saints bubble' and 'we were beaten by the better team on the day'. Will provide hours of amusement at dinner parties or as an ornament for your mantlepiece.

- SEVERAL SOOKY LALAS. Nick Riewoltd and Brendan Goddard, both premiership 'virgins', both have been spotted crying after losing games of football. Neither may be relied upon to kock goals in important games. (Nick Riewoldt may also double as a stud for llama farmers)

- ONE PREMIERSHIP CUP - Stolen from Collingwood in 1966, this original Vfl premiership cup is in almost mint condition. We recommend that you disinfect this cup before use as there may be some staining as a result of Steven Milne 'handling' it.

- ANIMAL CAGE DISCARDS - or St Kilda fans as they are more commonly known, these fine upstanding citizens will make a valuable addition to any household, when they are not in prison. We have several female varieties available so come down quick and start collecting your baby bonuses. Please understand that St Kilda fans require a steady supply of ciggies and Jack Daniels to function correctly.


I have placed these items on the nature strip outside St KFC HQ so it's first come first serve.

^ nahhh ... not worth it. Can you drop the prices a bit?

Well, I'll take the cup - it would go OK melted down and made into something useful such as razor blades - but $0.00 is too much for that other stuff.

Sorry, we don't have the money to pay you to take this stuff away .. we don't even have enough money to pay our players, only 22.5c for each dollar owed.

NPM (or NSM) - Are you a troll?

A stirrer, perhaps, but a Collingwood man first and foremost

I would take goddard. If only to play in the 2s against Carlscum to let them know what they missed. Set fire to the rest of the crap.

^ Be careful. If you set a match to item #2 without a special licence, the EPA will prosecute you for releasing noxious fumes and gases into the atmosphere.

NPM, have these items all been taken, yet? The folk down at Linton St picked up a slightly soiled Robert Eddy at a garage sale yesterday morning.
I hear they may also want some of this rubbish for padding, as well.