More new rules on spectator behaviour.

[AlfAndrews]

This week, at the Orangutangs V Collingwood match, I had the extremely enlightening experience of sitting with the Unofficial Cheer Squad for the first time at an AFL match.

I was able to witness, first hand, the systematic harassment that these fine upstanding citizens are subjected to by the forces of law and fascism.

It would appear that it is now an offence, not only to shout indecent language, but in fact to shout any sort of opinion on anything.

A certain colourful Collingwood identity, well known on this Bulletin Board, was threatened with the the full force of the law for expressing his opinion on the new Kangaroos orange strip.

During his tirade, delivered at full stentorian volume from the top deck at the northern end of Colonoscopy Stadium, the alleged offender did NOT use the F-word that rhymes with luck, or the C-word that rhymes with punt. Nor did he indulge in any two-fingered salutes or other inflammatory gestures.

Instead, like John the Baptist crying in the wilderness, he lectured the crowd in no uncertain terms on the evils of a football club selling its guernsey to the forces of Mammon. His "crime", it would seem, was the fact that he dared to voice his opinion.

Another well-known Collingwood identity had a bag of oranges confiscated. It would seem that a zero-tolerance policy on the use of oranges has now become official at the A.F.L. This would seem to be a backlash against recent moves to establish "safe" orange-eating rooms at Colonoscopy Stadium.

Obviously something had to be done to rid the terraces of this evil fruit before even more children were led astray into the sordid, degrading world of the Orange.

I'm so glad the AFL is protecting us decent, law-abiding, Kangaroo-supporting, Wayne Carey-worshipping, Channel 7-watching citizens from the evil proletarian influences of this digraceful Collingwood rabble.

**may the orangutang prosper**