Nick's Collingwood Bulletin Board

think positive wrote:

Damien wrote:

swoop42 wrote:
Beams might well have mental health concerns but whether that's the root of his problems or just a by product of poor personal choices and behaviour is anyone's guess. I'm less sympathetic to the latter.

Swoop your post sums up perfectly my thoughts on this subject. Particularly this bit I’ve quoted which is what I was clumsily trying to say with my Gary Lyon reference.

Sure society didn’t recognise mental health issues for way too long but there has been a massive over correction.

be thankful you dont know better than to say this.

obviously, you have no idea. lucky you.

Achilles wrote:Depression is a very treatable condition, I can speak from experience. It shouldn't take long for Beams to be back on his feet. What worries me though is that he's started a social media group. Not sure that's a good idea.

I've been reading a book about trolls - Troll Hunting by Ginger Gorman. It's a great read, well researched. She interviews people who troll. They're an equally sad group of people. They lack empathy and most have had a really really tough (loveless) childhoods. The best strategy is to ignore and not reply to them.

qldmagpie67 wrote:I wasn't going to post on this topic as I think everyone understands my view on anything about Dayne can be viewed ss biased due to our relationship
I have decided to hopefully give some clarity without giving away any confidences shared on a personal level
Firstly let me say no ones opinion here is wrong everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about this

Ok since Dayne was born everything football has been centred around his father. His father was a better than average country footballer playing in the league around Yarraownga and then at the Southport sharks in the QAFL.
PHIL (teapot his Dad) was a sort of local legend in footy terms. Tough as teak but fair as the day is long. Highly respected by both team mates and opponents alike.
Dayne learned everything he knows about footy from his dad. His love of footy his skills everything that made him the footballer he is came from his dad.
When the diagnosis of bowel cancer came along in 2014 season Dayne continued to play footy each week whilst still travelling to Qld to be close to his father and his treatment. He always thought his father would be fine. As that year continued it became clear that his fathers health wasn't improving as they had hoped.
Dayne made the decision then to go back to Qld against his fathers request.
There was a window in 2016 when the diagnosis seemed more positive but unfortunately cancer has a habit of coming back and often worse then the first time.
On March 2nd 2018 his father lost his battle with cancer
Both Dayne and Claye had spent the previous couple years close to there father hoping for the best but knowing in the back of there minds that the battle mightn't be over.
Fast forward to the end of 2018 when the Lions wanted Dayne to extend his current deal and he was honest and told them of his intentions to return to Victoria post 2020 with his wife and kids.
In Dayne's mind Qld wasn't home without his father being there and he believed by going back to Victoria it would help his dealing with his fathers death
Dayne believed by returning to Collingwood where he had so many happy memories and a lot of close mates like Sidey everything would be fine
Unfortunately this isn't the case he is still suffering the same demons he was in Qld after his fathers passing
You see even though he moved away from where he could,picture his father sitting at the Gabba watching him play and cheering the same goes when he runs out to train and play in Melbourne because his father watched him there as well
Dayne hasn't dealt with his fathers passing well. We all handle grief differently.
Dayne loves football but that love comes from his father and he can't separate those 2 loves and that created conflict in his mind
How he comes to deal with it long term is the reason he's walked away from footy at the moment
The timing of this isn't ideal for either the club or Dayne but we can't choose a perfect time to get help
I can tell you this the 2 hours each week when his on the field playing with his mates is when his mind is at its best because he thinks only about football but that's only 2 hours out of a very long week 52 weeks a year
His very conflicted between the 2 and getting that right will allow him to move forward and then hopefully return to footy and be able to play the way he has in the past

For all those nicksters who have wished him well I'm sure he appreciates it as I know I do. I've seen comments from posters who I know aren't fans of Dayne but they have put that aside to wish him well and that speak volumes of them in my mind
I like everyone else hopes he gets to a place he can be both healthy mentally and physically and return to footy.

Damien wrote:

qldmagpie67 wrote:I wasn't going to post on this topic as I think everyone understands my view on anything about Dayne can be viewed ss biased due to our relationship
I have decided to hopefully give some clarity without giving away any confidences shared on a personal level
Firstly let me say no ones opinion here is wrong everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about this

Ok since Dayne was born everything football has been centred around his father. His father was a better than average country footballer playing in the league around Yarraownga and then at the Southport sharks in the QAFL.
PHIL (teapot his Dad) was a sort of local legend in footy terms. Tough as teak but fair as the day is long. Highly respected by both team mates and opponents alike.
Dayne learned everything he knows about footy from his dad. His love of footy his skills everything that made him the footballer he is came from his dad.
When the diagnosis of bowel cancer came along in 2014 season Dayne continued to play footy each week whilst still travelling to Qld to be close to his father and his treatment. He always thought his father would be fine. As that year continued it became clear that his fathers health wasn't improving as they had hoped.
Dayne made the decision then to go back to Qld against his fathers request.
There was a window in 2016 when the diagnosis seemed more positive but unfortunately cancer has a habit of coming back and often worse then the first time.
On March 2nd 2018 his father lost his battle with cancer
Both Dayne and Claye had spent the previous couple years close to there father hoping for the best but knowing in the back of there minds that the battle mightn't be over.
Fast forward to the end of 2018 when the Lions wanted Dayne to extend his current deal and he was honest and told them of his intentions to return to Victoria post 2020 with his wife and kids.
In Dayne's mind Qld wasn't home without his father being there and he believed by going back to Victoria it would help his dealing with his fathers death
Dayne believed by returning to Collingwood where he had so many happy memories and a lot of close mates like Sidey everything would be fine
Unfortunately this isn't the case he is still suffering the same demons he was in Qld after his fathers passing
You see even though he moved away from where he could,picture his father sitting at the Gabba watching him play and cheering the same goes when he runs out to train and play in Melbourne because his father watched him there as well
Dayne hasn't dealt with his fathers passing well. We all handle grief differently.
Dayne loves football but that love comes from his father and he can't separate those 2 loves and that created conflict in his mind
How he comes to deal with it long term is the reason he's walked away from footy at the moment
The timing of this isn't ideal for either the club or Dayne but we can't choose a perfect time to get help
I can tell you this the 2 hours each week when his on the field playing with his mates is when his mind is at its best because he thinks only about football but that's only 2 hours out of a very long week 52 weeks a year
His very conflicted between the 2 and getting that right will allow him to move forward and then hopefully return to footy and be able to play the way he has in the past

For all those nicksters who have wished him well I'm sure he appreciates it as I know I do. I've seen comments from posters who I know aren't fans of Dayne but they have put that aside to wish him well and that speak volumes of them in my mind
I like everyone else hopes he gets to a place he can be both healthy mentally and physically and return to footy.

Thanks for those insights. I disagreed with his recruitment but I genuinely wish him well. There’s the rumour going around that I’m sure everyone has heard about why he got out of QLD. Are you in a position to categorically put this to bed?

qldmagpie67 wrote: I'll share part of the text I sent him the other day
Dayne football is a game your wife and kids are your life
Take the time to be the father and husband you need to be for your family
Football won't be in your life forever but your wife and children will
You have my number mate use it any time you need
My door is always open my couch is a non judgement area
We have cold beer hot food and a warm welcome for you, Kelly and the kids
If you need some quiet time you know my 2klms of riverbank are the perfect place to lose yourself for a few hours
Our door is always open know that mate

think positive wrote:I feel the need to hug you Qlder!! cheers mate, hes lucky to have you and your family.

Achilles wrote:... What worries me though is that he's started a social media group. Not sure that's a good idea.

I've been reading a book about trolls - Troll Hunting by Ginger Gorman. It's a great read, well researched. She interviews people who troll. They're an equally sad group of people. They lack empathy and most have had a really really tough (loveless) childhoods. The best strategy is to ignore and not reply to them.

RudeBoy wrote:With all due respect QM67, I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to share personal messages you sent Dayne in a public forum.

It's certainly not something I would do if he was my friend. But that's your business I guess.